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Anonymous
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Science Quotes by Anonymous (565 quotes)
-------------- are like snowmen, fun at first, but not much future.
— Anonymous
In Jon Fripp, Michael Fripp and Deborah Fripp, Speaking of Science (2000), 211.
… and the thousands of fishes moved as a huge beast piercing the water. They appear united, inexorably bound by common fate. How comes this unity?
— Anonymous
Seventeenth century. In Gary William Flake, The Computational Beauty of Nature (2000), 261.
[An] old Pythagorean prejudice … thought it a crime to eat eggs; because an egg was a microcosm, or universe in little; the shell being the earth; the white, water; fire, the yolk; and the air found between the shell and the white.
— Anonymous
'Common Cookery'. Household Words (26 Jan 1856), 13, 43. An English weekly magazine edited by Charles Dickens.
[In an established surgical practice] there is a ghost in every bed [and fortunately] surgeons get long lives and short memories.
— Anonymous
In B.J. Moran, 'Decision-making and technical factors account for the learning curve in complex surgery', Journal of Public Health (2006), 28375-378.
[Jethro Tull] was the first Englishman—perhaps the first writer, ancient and modern—who has attempted, with any tolerable degree of success, to reduce the art of agriculture to certain and uniform principles; and it must be acknowledged that he has done more towards establishing a rational and practical method of husbandry than all the writers who have gone before him.
— Anonymous
In Letter (18 Oct 1764), signed only “D.Y.” from Hungerford, in Sylvanus Urban (ed.), 'Observations on the late Improvements in Agriculture', The Gentleman’s Magazine (Nov 1764), 525.
[Like people] if you torture statistics long enough, they'll tell you anything you want to hear.
— Anonymous
In Erica Beecher-Monas, Evaluating Scientific Evidence (2007), 63.
[Newton is the] British physicist linked forever in the schoolboy mind with an apple that fell and bore fruit throughout physics.
— Anonymous
As given in Patricia Fara, Newton: The Making of Genius (2004), 192.
[Elementary student, laying a cocoon on the teacher's desk:] That is serendipity. The caterpillar thinks it is dying but it is really being born.
— Anonymous
As quoted, without citation, by Marcus Bach, 'Serendiptiy in the Business World', in The Rotarian (Oct 1981), 139, No. 4, 40.
[Student describing Niels Bohr's main gift, the ability to synthesize:] Like Socrates, he wages a fight to bring harmony out of chaos and diversity.
— Anonymous
Quoted in Bill Becker, 'Pioneer of the Atom', New York Times Sunday Magazine (20 Oct 1957), 52.
Asylum. A place where detected lunatics are sent by those who have had the adroitness to conceal their own infirmity.
— Anonymous
Webmaster suggests Clara Lucas Balfour probably did NOT originate this quote. She was 23 when it appeared without any author cited in a space-padding group of humourous word definitions in 'Extracts from a Modern Dictionary', New-York Mirror (1831), 9 232. These witticisms appeared in at least eight more different publications before 1835, and more magazines in 1853 and 1861. Finally this quote appears, without citation, in a miscellany compiled by Clara Lucas Balfour (ed.), Sunbeams for All Seasons (New ed., 1861), 14. Balfour gives credits to known writers (such as M.J.A., in Family Herald'), but none appears with the subject quote in her own book. So Webmaster is skeptical of the quote later being attributed to her in Edwin Davies (ed.), Other Men’s Minds, Or, Seven Thousand Choice Extracts on History, Science, Philosophy, Religion (1888), 42.
Chemie ist nicht nur, wenn es stinkt und kracht.
Chemistry is not just, when it stinks and bangs.
Chemistry is not just, when it stinks and bangs.
— Anonymous
German chemistry saying, seen on various web pages.
Gnothi seauton.
Know thyself.
Know thyself.
— Anonymous
From The Temple of Apollo at Delphi; Pausanias 10.24.1; Juvenal 11.27.
Hie locus est ubi mars gaudet succurere vitae.
This place is where death rejoices to come to the aid of life.
This place is where death rejoices to come to the aid of life.
— Anonymous
In the anatomical dissection theatre of the University of Bologna.
Ihre Arbeit ist gekrönt worden mit dem Nobel Preis für Otto Hahn.
Her work has been crowned by the Nobel Prize for Otto Hahn.
Her work has been crowned by the Nobel Prize for Otto Hahn.
— Anonymous
Said to observe that she did not herself receive recognition of her research.
Il est impossible que l’improbable n’arrive jamais
The improbable is bound to happen one day.
The improbable is bound to happen one day.
— Anonymous
Epigraph, without citation, in Emil Julius Gumbel, Statistics of Extremes (1958), 201. A more literal translation would be “It is impossible that the improbably never happens.”
In scientia veritas, in arte honestas.
In science truth, in art honour.
In science truth, in art honour.
— Anonymous
In Jon R. Stone, The Routledge Dictionary of Latin Quotations (2005), 170.
La Patience cherche et le Génie trouve.
Patience seeks; Genius finds.
Patience seeks; Genius finds.
— Anonymous
Quoted as from an unnamed “French writer” in Thomas Moore, Memoirs of the life of the Right Honorable Richard Brinsley Sheridan (1825), Vol. 1, 209. Translation by Webmaster.
Magna opera Domini exquisita in omnes voluntates eius.
The works of the Lord are great; sought out of all those that have pleasure therein.
The works of the Lord are great; sought out of all those that have pleasure therein.
— Anonymous
Over the entrance to the Cavendish Laboratory, Cambridge.
Mathematical truth has validity independent of place, personality, or human authority. Mathematical relations are not established, nor can they be abrogated, by edict. The multiplication table is international and permanent, not a matter of convention nor of relying upon authority of state or church. The value of π is not amenable to human caprice. The finding of a mathematical theorem may have been a highly romantic episode in the personal life of the discoverer, but it cannot be expected of itself to reveal the race, sex, or temperament of this discoverer. With modern means of widespread communication even mathematical notation tends to be international despite all nationalistic tendencies in the use of words or of type.
— Anonymous
In 'Light Thrown on the Nature of Mathematics by Certain Aspects of Its Development', Mathematics in General Education (1940), 256. This is the Report of the Committee on the Function of Mathematics in General Education of the Commission on Secondary School Curriculum, which was established by the Executive Board of the Progressive Education Association in 1932.
Medicus naturae minister, non magister
The doctor is the servant, not master for teaching Nature.
The doctor is the servant, not master for teaching Nature.
— Anonymous
In Alfred J. Schauer, Ethics in Medicine (2001), 119.
Nihil est in intellectu quod non prius fuerit in sensu.
There is nothing in the mind that has not previously been in the senses.
There is nothing in the mind that has not previously been in the senses.
— Anonymous
Saying.
Post coitum omne animal triste.
After coition every animal is sad.
After coition every animal is sad.
— Anonymous
Post-classical saying.
Post hoc, ergo propter hoc.
After this, therefore because of this.
After this, therefore because of this.
— Anonymous
Latin Proverb.
Q: What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
A: Dam!
— Anonymous
Q: What is the definition of a tachyon?
A: It’s a gluon that’s not completely dry.
A: It’s a gluon that’s not completely dry.
— Anonymous
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Pierre de Fermat: I just don’t have room here to give the full explanation.
A: Pierre de Fermat: I just don’t have room here to give the full explanation.
— Anonymous
[Note: Pierre de Fermat is famous for an enigmatic marginal note in his notebook, “I have discovered a truly remarkable proof which this margin is too small to contain.”]
Similia similibus solvuntur
Like dissolves like.
Like dissolves like.
— Anonymous
Aphorism used in chemistry to indicate the polar solvents dissolve polar solutes, whereas non-polar solvents will dissolve non-polar solutes. Seen, for example, in Corpus Pharmaceutico-Chymico-Medicum Universale (1711), 4. It appears in this context: “Sic spiritus vini cum camphora, item oleum destillatum cum sulfure se intimè unit. Quae separando homogeneas saltem particulas adsciscunt, & sibi uniunt, his competit regula: Similia similibus solvuntur: & est genuina solutio.”
Tierchemie ist Schmierchemie.
Animal chemistry is messy chemistry.
Animal chemistry is messy chemistry.
— Anonymous
Quoted without source in Joseph S. Feuton, Proteins, Enzymes, Genes: The Interplay of Chemistry and Biology (1999), 57.
~~[Misattributed]~~ A proof tells us where to concentrate our doubts.
— Anonymous
Misattributed to Morris Kline. He did not originate this aphorism. He only quoted it as an example of sarcastic remarks by anonymous skeptical mathematicians. In Lecture (11 Apr 1958) to the 36th Annual Meeting of the National Council of Teachers of Mathematics, Cleveland, Ohio. Published in Morris Kline, 'The Ancients Versus the Moderns, a New Battle of the Books', The Mathematics Teacher (Oct 1958), 51, No. 6, 423. Webmaster strongly believes this quote was not originated by Morris Kline, who only popularized it when it was printed in his later books. He merely quoted it as an aphorism already in circulation. In this work, it is one of a sentence listing three aphorisms, each separated with its own quotation marks, divided by semicolons. One of these Kline himself in fact attributes to “Anonymous” in a later work. Another error seen is the concatenation of two of these quotes. Thus “The virtue of a logical proof is not that it compels belief but that it suggests doubts. The proof tells us where to concentrate our doubts,” should be written as two separate aphorisms, as they were by Kline in the work cited here. The third aphorism, “Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence,” traces back to at least the 1920s. See quote beginning “Metaphysics may be…” on the Joseph Wood Krutch Quotes page of this website.
A bacteriologist is a man whose conversation always starts with the germ of an idea.
— Anonymous
Quoted in M. Goran, A Treasury of Science Jokes (1986), 37.
A beautiful blonde is chemically three-fourths water, but what lovely surface tension.
— Anonymous
In Evan Esar, 20,000 Quips and Quotes, 127.
A biophysicist talks physics to the biologists and biology to the physicists, but when he meets another biophysicist, they just discuss women.
— Anonymous
In Alan Lindsay Mackay , A Dictionary of Scientific Quotations (2nd Ed., 1991), 4.
A chemist says that the first alcohol was distilled in Arabia, which may explain those nights.
— Anonymous
Space filler, citing Detroit News, in The School of Education Record of the University of North Dakota (Jun 1926), 11 No. 9, 73.
A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.
— Anonymous
Widely found on the web as an Einstein quote, but Webmaster has not yet found a primary source. Can you help? It is probably yet another example of a “wise” quote to which Einstein’s name has been falsely attributed. For authentic quotes see Albert Einstein Quotes on Problem.
A cliché is an ossified idiom.
— Anonymous
A consultant is a man sent in after the battle to bayonet the wounded.
— Anonymous
Penguin Dictionary of Modern Humorous Quotations (2001),.60.
A doctor is the only man who can suffer from good health.
— Anonymous
In Edward Jewitt Wheeler, et al., The Literary Digest (1931),13.
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment.
— Anonymous
In Paul Dudley White , Clues in the Diagnosis and Treatment of Heart Disease (1956), Introduction.
A faithful friend is the medicine of life.
— Anonymous
A farmer believes what goes down must come up.
— Anonymous
A genius is one who shoots at something no one else can see—and hits it.
— Anonymous
In M. P. Singh, Quote Unquote (2007), 148.
A geologist is a fault-finder.
— Anonymous
Quoted in M. Goran, A Treasury of Science Jokes (1986),73.
A graduate with a science degree asks: 'Why does it work?'
A graduate with an engineering degree asks: 'How does it work?'
A graduate with an accounting degree asks: 'How much will it cost?'
A graduate with an arts degree asks: 'Do you want fries with that?'
A graduate with an engineering degree asks: 'How does it work?'
A graduate with an accounting degree asks: 'How much will it cost?'
A graduate with an arts degree asks: 'Do you want fries with that?'
— Anonymous
In Geoff Tibballs, The Mammoth Book of Humor (2000), 83.
A great invention for dieters would be a refrigerator which weighs you every time you open the door.
— Anonymous
In E.C. McKenzie, 14,000 Quips and Quotes for Speakers, Writers, Editors, Preachers, and Teachers (1990), 546.
A major scientific advancement would be the development of cigarette ashes that would match the color of the rug.
— Anonymous
In E.C. McKenzie, 14,000 Quips and Quotes for Speakers, Writers, Editors, Preachers, and Teachers (1990), 85.
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height, spots a man down below and asks,“Excuse me, can you help me? I promised to return the balloon to its owner, but I don’t know where I am.”
The man below says: “You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 350 feet above mean sea level and 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees north latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees west longitude.”
“You must be an engineer,” says the balloonist.
“I am,” replies the man.“How did you know?”
“Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost.”
The man below says, “You must be a manager.”
“I am,” replies the balloonist,“but how did you know?”
“Well,” says the engineer,“you don’t know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem.The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault.”
The man below says: “You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 350 feet above mean sea level and 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees north latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees west longitude.”
“You must be an engineer,” says the balloonist.
“I am,” replies the man.“How did you know?”
“Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost.”
The man below says, “You must be a manager.”
“I am,” replies the balloonist,“but how did you know?”
“Well,” says the engineer,“you don’t know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem.The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault.”
— Anonymous
In Jon Fripp, Michael Fripp and Deborah Fripp, Speaking of Science (2000), 199.
A man’s liver is his carburettor.
— Anonymous
A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that doesn’t exist. [Misattributed to Charles Darwin.]
— Anonymous
Traced by quoteinvestigator.com to Tomlinson Fort, 'Mathematics and the Sciences', The American Mathematical Monthly (Nov 1940), 47, No. 9, 606. The article writer skeptically noted that: “I have heard it said that Charles Darwin gave the following. (He probably never did.)” Quote Investigator cites a number of wide variations of the metaphor, from various authors and sources, going back to at least 1846.
A mathematician thinks that two points are enough to define a straight line, while a physicist wants more data.
— Anonymous
A metallurgist is an expert who can look at a platinum blonde and tell whether she is virgin metal or common ore.
— Anonymous
In Evan Esar, 20,000 Quips and Quotes, 703.
A mineralogist is the only living creature who belongs in the mineral kingdom.
— Anonymous
In Evan Esar, 20,000 Quips and Quotes, 703.
A minor operation: one performed on somebody else.
— Anonymous
Penguin Dictionary of Modern Humorous Quotations (2001), 191.
A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time. When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, The one I feed the most.
— Anonymous
Widely found in varied accounts, so is most likely proverbial. Seen misattributed (?) to George Bernard Shaw, but Webmaster has not yet found a primary source as verification.
A New Arithmetic: “I am not much of a mathematician,” said the cigarette, “but I can add nervous troubles to a boy, I can subtract from his physical energy, I can multiply his aches and pains, I can divide his mental powers, I can take interest from his work and discount his chances for success.”
— Anonymous
In Henry Ford, The Case Against the Little White Slaver (1914), Vol. 3, 40.
A new cigarette offers coupons good for a cemetery lot.
— Anonymous
In E.C. McKenzie, 14,000 Quips and Quotes for Speakers, Writers, Editors, Preachers, and Teachers (1990), 85.
A night with Venus, a lifetime with Mercury.
[For centuries mercury was used as a treatment for syphilis.]
[For centuries mercury was used as a treatment for syphilis.]
— Anonymous
Saying. In Michael J. O'Dowd and Elliot Philipp, The History of Obstetrics and Gynaecology (2000), 227.
A paper cut — A tree's last laugh!
— Anonymous
Adapted from the title of a web page.
A paper cut — A tree's last revenge!
— Anonymous
Title of a web page.
A paradigm is an all-encompassing idea, a model providing a way of looking at the world such that an array of diverse observations is united under one umbrella of belief, and a series of related questions are thus answered. Paradigms provide broad understanding, a certain “comfort level,” the psychological satisfaction associated with a mystery solved. What is important here, and perhaps surprising at first glance, is that a paradigm need not have much to do with reality. It does not have to be factual. It just needs to be satisfying to those whom it serves. For example, all creation myths, including the Judeo-Christian story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, are certainly paradigms, at least to those who subscribe to the particular faith that generated the myth.
— Anonymous
From John Krichter, The Balance of Nature: Ecology's Enduring Myth (2009), 20.
A person is smart. People are dumb ... Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
— Anonymous
Character Agent K in movie Men in Black(1997), screen story and screenplay by Ed Solomon. Quoted in George Aichele, Culture, Entertainment and the Bible (2000), 26. In a footnote, from the post-movie novel by Steve Perry, Men in Black (1997), 66, is added, 'Yeah. A hundred years from now, whoever is here will probably pee themselves laughing at what we believe.'
A physician is someone who knows everything and does nothing.
A surgeon is someone who does everything and knows nothing.
A psychiatrist is someone who knows nothing and does nothing.
A pathologist is someone who knows everything and does everything too late.
A surgeon is someone who does everything and knows nothing.
A psychiatrist is someone who knows nothing and does nothing.
A pathologist is someone who knows everything and does everything too late.
— Anonymous
A physicist learns more and more about less and less, until he knows everything about nothing; whereas a philosopher learns less and less about more and more, until he knows nothing about everything.
— Anonymous
Saying.
A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.
— Anonymous
In Jon Fripp, Michael Fripp and Deborah Fripp, Speaking of Science (2000), 47.
A prominent official was asked to deliver an after-dinner speech at the banquet recently held in Cambridge, Mass., for the Mathematicians at the International Congress. “What do you wish me to speak about?" he asked. "About five minutes," was the answer.
— Anonymous
Found as a space filler, Pi Mu Epsilon Journal (1949), 1, No. 1, 102.
A rash of dermatologists, a hive of allergists, a scrub of interns, a giggle of nurses, a flood of urologists, a pile of proctologists, an eyeful of ophthalmologists, a whiff of anesthesiologists, a cast of orthopaedic rheumatologists, a gargle of laryngologists.
— Anonymous
A school is a building which has four walls and tomorrow inside.
— Anonymous
A scientist reads many books in his lifetime, and knows he still has a lot to learn. A religious man barely reads one book, and thinks he knows everything.
— Anonymous
A single axis is harmless, but a murderous mathematician can go on a killing spree with a pair of axes.
— Anonymous
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
— Anonymous
According to Ralph Keyes in The Quote Verifier this is not a quote by Joseph Stalin. Although a 1958 book review in the New York Times used similar words, no citation was provided, and likely because there is none. However, the quote is often seen incorrectly attributed to Stalin, and sometimes Lenin or Heinrich Himmler.
A statistician carefully assembles the facts and figures for others who carefully misinterpret them.
— Anonymous
In Evan Esar, 20,000 Quips and Quotes (1995), 765.
A statistician is a person who believes that if you put your head in a furnace and your feet in a bucket of iced water, on the average you should feel reasonably comfortable.
— Anonymous
Found, for example, in Planning a Prevention Program: A Handbook for the Youth Worker in an Alcohol Service Agency (1977), 3.
A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
[Or economist]
[Or economist]
— Anonymous
Found, for example, in A Prairie Home Companion Pretty Good Joke Book (4th ed., 2005), 216. Also seen as defining an Economist in Eighteen Annual Institute on Securities Regulation (1987), 131, which quotes it as “Tim Wirth used to say.”
A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
— Anonymous
In Lily Splane, Quantum Consciousness (2004), 307
A success learns how to make hay from the grass that grows under other people's feet.
— Anonymous
Collected in Perry Tanksley, Of Silver and Gold: A Wealth of Thought for Someone I Treasure (1970), 72.
A surgeon should give as little pain as possible while he is treating the patient, and no pain at all when he charges his fee.
— Anonymous
‘FRCS’ in The Times, quoted by Reginald Pound in Harley Street (1967).
A weird happening has occurred in the case of a lansquenet named Daniel Burghammer, of the squadron of Captain Burkhard Laymann Zu Liebenau, of the honorable Madrucci Regiment in Piadena, in Italy. When the same was on the point of going to bed one night he complained to his wife, to whom he had been married by the Church seven years ago, that he had great pains in his belly and felt something stirring therein. An hour thereafter he gave birth to a child, a girl. When his wife was made aware of this, she notified the occurrence at once. Thereupon he was examined and questioned. … He confessed on the spot that he was half man and half woman and that for more than seven years he had served as a soldier in Hungary and the Netherlands… . When he was born he was christened as a boy and given in baptism the name of Daniel… . He also stated that while in the Netherlands he only slept once with a Spaniard, and he became pregnant therefrom. This, however, he kept a secret unto himself and also from his wife, with whom he had for seven years lived in wedlock, but he had never been able to get her with child… . The aforesaid soldier is able to suckle the child with his right breast only and not at all on the left side, where he is a man. He has also the natural organs of a man for passing water. Both are well, the child is beautiful, and many towns have already wished to adopt it, which, however, has not as yet been arranged. All this has been set down and described by notaries. It is considered in Italy to be a great miracle, and is to be recorded in the chronicles. The couple, however, are to be divorced by the clergy.
— Anonymous
'From Piadena in Italy, the 26th day of May 1601'. As quoted in George Tennyson Matthews (ed.) The Fugger Newsletter (1970), 247-248. A handwritten collection of news reports (1568-1604) by the powerful banking and merchant house of Fugger in Ausburg. This was footnoted in The Story of the Secret Service (1937), 698.
https://books.google.com/books?id=YfssAAAAMAAJ
Richard Wilmer Rowan - 1937
A wise man’s day is worth a fool’s life
— Anonymous
Arabic proverb. In Hialmer Day Gould, New Practical Spelling (1905), 27
A wrench is a great tool, but don’t try to drive a nail with it.
— Anonymous
A. R. Todd
Thinks he’s God.
N. F. Mott
Says he’s not.
Thinks he’s God.
N. F. Mott
Says he’s not.
— Anonymous
Quoted by William Lord in The Times (22 Jan 1997), remarking on the competitiveness between the Physics and Chemistry Departments at the University of Cambridge.
Abstinence is a good thing, but it should always be practised in moderation.
— Anonymous
Abstract of a paper: This paper does not need an abstract—it is abstract enough already.
— Anonymous
From Nicholas J. Rose, Mathematical Maxims and Minims (1988), 5.
According to the theory of aerodynamics, as may be readily demonstrated through wind tunnel experiments, the bumblebee is unable to fly. This is because the size, weight and shape of his body in relation to the total wingspread make flying impossible. But the bumblebee, being ignorant of these scientific truths, goes ahead and flies anyway—and makes a little honey every day.
— Anonymous
Sign in a General Motors Corporation factory. As quoted in Ralph L. Woods, The Businessman's
Book of Quotations (1951), 249-50. Cited in Suzy Platt (ed)., Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations (1989), 118.
Action precedes funding. Planning precedes action.
— Anonymous
Epigraph in Ask Without Fear (2008), 18.
Actors start off in commercials playing someone else, but when they’ve really made it they return to commercials playing themselves.
— Anonymous
A “Shower Thought” posted on Reddit by BJntheRV (24 Oct 2021).
Adam
Had ’em.
Had ’em.
— Anonymous
Poem (1904) answering the question: How old are fleas?. 'On the Antiquity of Microbes', Strickland W. Gillilan. For some years it was considered the shortest poem until 'Lines on the Questionable Importance of the Individual': “I … Why?” appeared from Anon. (As quoted in S.N. Behrman, The New Yorker (27 May 1972), 38-81. In The Lyceum News (1911), 2, No. 1, 15, it is noted that 14-year-old Charles E. Varney, Jr. recited the poem in his English class, but the teacher said the assignment had specified a poem to be complete in at least four lines long. So he continued: “Well’m / I'll add ’em / So had / Madam.”
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
— Anonymous
Agriculture is something like farming; only farming is doing it.
— Anonymous
Alas! That partial Science should approve
The sly rectangle’s too licentious love!
From three bright Nymphs the wily wizard burns;-
Three bright-ey’d Nymphs requite his flame by turns.
Strange force of magic skill! Combined of yore.
The sly rectangle’s too licentious love!
From three bright Nymphs the wily wizard burns;-
Three bright-ey’d Nymphs requite his flame by turns.
Strange force of magic skill! Combined of yore.
— Anonymous
'The Loves of the Triangles. A Mathematical and Philosophical Poem', in The Anti-Jacobean or Weekly Examiner, Monday 16 April 1798, 182. [Written by George Canning, Hookham Frere, and George Ellis].
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
— Anonymous
Widely seen misattributed (?) to George Bernard Shaw, but always without source citation. There seems to be no primary source for Shaw having written the idea using the above wording. However, there are other, documented, quotes about alcohol on the George Bernard Shaw Quotations page, which express a similar theme.
All anybody has to say to Edward [Teller] is, ‘We’ve got a problem here, we need you,’ and— zip! he’s into it. It’s helpfulness, plus maybe vanity, but mostly just curiosity.
— Anonymous
As described by an unidentified friend, quoted in Robert Coughlan, 'Dr. Edward Teller’s Magnificent Obsession', Life (6 Sep 1954), 62.
All good men are for flood control and against sin. But how to control floods and what is sin—aye, there’s the rub.
— Anonymous
Quoted in Gary Mills, Of Men and Rivers—The Story of the Vicksburg District (Jan 1978). Written as a critique of the Corps of Engineers and the sins resulting from Federal attempts in flood control at the turn of the 20th century.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
— Anonymous
Official of the Quebec Health Insurance Board, on Use of Computers in Quebec Province's Comprehensive Medical-care system. F. 19, 4:5. In Barbara Bennett and Linda Amster, Who Said What (and When, and Where, and How) in 1971: December-June, 1971 (1972), Vol. 1, 38. (Later sources cite Isaac Asimov.)
Almost daily we shudder as prophets of doom announce the impending end of civilization and universe. We are being asphyxiated, they say, by the smoke of the industry; we are suffocating in the ever growing mountain of rubbish. Every new project depicts its measureable effects and is denounced by protesters screaming about catastrophe, the upsetting of the land, the assault on nature. If we accepted this new mythology we would have to stop pushing roads through the forest, harnessing rivers to produce the electricity, breaking grounds to extract metals, enriching the soil with chemicals, killing insects, combating viruses … But progress—basically, an effort to organise a corner of land and make it more favourable for human life—cannot be baited. Without the science of pomiculture, for example, trees will bear fruits that are small, bitter, hard, indigestible, and sour. Progress is desirable.
— Anonymous
Uncredited. In Lachman Mehta, Stolen Treasure (2012), 117.
An adult is one who has ceased to grow vertically but not horizontally.
— Anonymous
An applied mathematician loves the theorem. A pure mathematician loves the proof.
— Anonymous
An archaeologist is a scientist who seeks to discover past civilizations while the present one is still around.
— Anonymous
In Evan Esar, 20,000 Quips & Quotes (1968, 1995), 40.
An astronomer is a guy who stands around looking at heavenly bodies.
— Anonymous
Quoted in M. Goran, A Treasury of Science Jokes (1986), 29.
An ecologist is a voice crying over the wilderness.
— Anonymous
…...
An engineer passing a pond heard a frog say, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He picked up the frog, looked at it, and put it in his pocket. The frog said, “Why didn’t you kiss me?” Replied the engineer, “Look, I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool.”
— Anonymous
An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician find themselves in an anecdote, indeed an anecdote quite similar to many that you have no doubt already heard.
After some observations and rough calculations the engineer realizes the situation and starts laughing.
A few minutes later the physicist understands too and chuckles to himself happily, as he now has enough experimental evidence to publish a paper.
This leaves the mathematician somewhat perplexed, as he had observed right away that he was the subject of an anecdote, and deduced quite rapidly the presence of humor from similar anecdotes, but considers this anecdote to be too trivial a corollary to be significant, let alone funny.
After some observations and rough calculations the engineer realizes the situation and starts laughing.
A few minutes later the physicist understands too and chuckles to himself happily, as he now has enough experimental evidence to publish a paper.
This leaves the mathematician somewhat perplexed, as he had observed right away that he was the subject of an anecdote, and deduced quite rapidly the presence of humor from similar anecdotes, but considers this anecdote to be too trivial a corollary to be significant, let alone funny.
— Anonymous
In 'Zero Gravity: The Lighter Side of Science' APS News (Jun 2003), 12 No. 6.
An epidemiologist is a doctor broken down by age and sex.
— Anonymous
An observant parent’s evidence may be disproved but should never be ignored.
— Anonymous
Lancet (1951), 1, 688.
An optimist is someone who believes the future is uncertain.
— Anonymous
No primary source found, so Webmaster believes this is merely anonymous. However, in Arnold O. Allen, Probability, Statistics, and Queueing Theory (1990), it is attributed to Edward Teller; but also occasionally seen on the Web attributed to Leo Szilard. If you know a primary source, please contact Webmaster.
An ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure.
— Anonymous
In Robert Harling, Steel Magnolias (1988), 18. The play was first presented on 22 Mar 1987.
And somewhere there are engineers
Helping others fly faster than sound.
But, where are the engineers
Helping those who must live on the ground?
Helping others fly faster than sound.
But, where are the engineers
Helping those who must live on the ground?
— Anonymous
Oxfam poster, as quoted on various websites.
Any time you wish to demonstrate something, the number of faults is proportional to the number of viewers.
— Anonymous
Bye's First Law of Model Railroading. In Paul Dickson, The Official Rules, (1978), 23.
Archaeology is the science of digging in the earth to try and find a civilization worse than ours.
— Anonymous
In Evan Esar, 20,000 Quips & Quotes (1968, 1995), 40.
Archaeology is the science that proves you can’t keep a good man down.
— Anonymous
In Bob Phillips, Phillips' Book of Great Thoughts & Funny Sayings (1993), 24.
Archaeology is the science that proves you can't keep a good man down.
— Anonymous
In Bob Phillips, Phillips' Book of Great Thoughts and Funny Sayings (1993), 25
Architecture is of all the arts the one nearest to a science, for every architectural design is at its inception dominated by scientific considerations. The inexorable laws of gravitation and of statics must be obeyed by even the most imaginative artist in building.
— Anonymous
In 'The Message of Greek Architecture', The Chautauquan (Apr 1906), 43, 110.
Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?
— Anonymous
Seen, for example, collected in Stephen Motway, Jokes, Quotes, and Other Assorted Things (2010), 327.
Arithmetically speaking, rabbits multiply faster than adders add.
— Anonymous
In Evan Esar, 20,000 Quips and Quotes, 509.
Ars est sine arte, cujus principium est mentiri, medium laborare, et finis mendicare.
The art is devoid of art, whose beginning is falsehood, its middle labour, and its end beggary.
[On the character of the delusive science of alchemy].
The art is devoid of art, whose beginning is falsehood, its middle labour, and its end beggary.
[On the character of the delusive science of alchemy].
— Anonymous
In Henry Thomas Riley, Dictionary of Latin Quotations, Proverbs, Maxims, and Mottos (1866), 27.
As kids we started smoking because we thought it was smart. Why don't we stop smoking for the same reason?
— Anonymous
In E.C. McKenzie, 14,000 Quips and Quotes for Speakers, Writers, Editors, Preachers, and Teachers (1990), 85.
As useless as a screen door on a submarine.
— Anonymous
In use as early as 1963, for example, “the boy indulging in horseplay is about as funny as a screen door on a submarine,” in publication Safety Education (Jan 1963), 39. Please contact Webmaster if you know the original source.
Asthma is a disease that has practically the same symptoms as passion except that with asthma it lasts longer.
— Anonymous
Journal of the American Medical Association (1964), 190, 392.
Because it’s my generation that’s going to have to deal with the effects of climate change.
— Anonymous
Title of article promoting support future generations, especially for careers in engineering on website of IET (The Institution of Engineering and Technology).
Before counting the stars have a look underfoot.
— Anonymous
Attributed an “Oriental saying”, in a translation from the original Russian (1960), by David Sobolev of D.N. Trifonov and L.G. Vlasov, 107 Stories About Chemistry (1970), 215. New edition published as Silhouettes of Chemistry (1987), 196. Webmaster has so far found only this single source.
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
— Anonymous
Thomas F. Shubnell, Greatest Jokes of the Century Book 2 (2008), 91.
Behaviorism is the art of pulling habits out of rats.
— Anonymous
In Jon Fripp, Michael Fripp and Deborah Fripp, Speaking of Science (2000), 23.
Better Things for Better Living Through Chemistry.
— Anonymous
Advertising campaign slogan for the DuPont Company from 1935.
Biology is the only science in which multiplication means the same thing as division.
— Anonymous
[Note: which is what cells do.]
Botany is the science in which plants are known by their aliases.
— Anonymous
Quoted in M. Goran, A Treasury of Science Jokes (1986), 49.
Both Religion and science require faith in God. For believers, God is in the beginning, and for physicists He is at the end of all considerations.
— Anonymous
Sometimes seen attributed (doubtfully?) to Max Planck. Widely seen on the web, but always without citation. Webmaster has not yet found any evidence in print that this is a valid Planck quote, and must be skeptical that it is. Contact Webmaster if you know a primary source.
Broccoli salad is a forest in a bowl.
— Anonymous
Seen on the internet with various attributions.
By the year 2000 the commonest killers such as coronary heart disease, stroke, respiratory, diseases and many cancers will be wiped out.
— Anonymous
Irish Times (24 Apr 1987).
Cancer is a biological, not a statistical problem.
— Anonymous
'Shoot Out in Marlboro Country', Mother Jones Magazine (Jan 1979), 36.
Children are one third of our population and all our future.
— Anonymous
U.S. Select Panel for Promotion of Child Health (1981)
Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life.
— Anonymous
Too often seen carelessly attributed to Confucius. Webmaster has searched the original writings of the disciples of Confucius who recorded his thoughts, and has seen nothing resembling this. Peasants of his era did not “choose a job”—they merely worked on raising food and providing the necessities of life for their family and community.
Choose your specialist and you choose your disease.
— Anonymous
The Westminster Review (18 May 1908)
Cigarettes are killers that travel in packs.
— Anonymous
In E.C. McKenzie, 14,000 Quips and Quotes for Speakers, Writers, Editors, Preachers, and Teachers (1990), 85.
Coal and iron are the kings of the earth, because they make and unmake the kings of the earth.
— Anonymous
Stated without naming the source as “A great writer has said,” by Daniel Bedinger Lucas in Nicaragua: War of the Filibusters (1896), 151. Please contact Webmaster if you can cite the writer.
Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous.
— Anonymous
Years after his death, this has been misattributed to Albert Einstein. Webmaster has found no primary source that he ever said or wrote these words. In a web article 'Chance, Coincidence, Miracles, Pseudonyms, and God', Quote Investigator lists a number of precursor variants as sayings dating back to 1777.
Common sense is in spite of, not as the result of, education.
— Anonymous
“Anonymous” because although commonly seen attributed to Victor Hugo, the quote cannot be found in his works.
Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.
— Anonymous
Appears in Tryon Edwards (ed.), A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations (1891), 77, attributed, without citation, to Calvin Ellis Stowe. However, Webmaster, as yet, has not been able to find any primary source in a work by Stowe. Can you help?
Complaint was made in 1901 that 'Not so much attention is paid to our children's minds as is paid to their feet.'
— Anonymous
Quoted by A.V. Neale in The Advancement of Child Health (1964), 171.
Computers are incredibly fast, accurate and stupid. Human beings are incredibly slow, inaccurate and brilliant. Together they are powerful beyond imagination.
— Anonymous
Very often seen (?mis-)attributed to Albert Einstein, but there seems to be no authenticating primary source. (Webmaster has tried, but not yet found one.) Probably best regarded as Anonymous.
Concerning the alchemist, Mamugnano, no one harbors doubts any longer about his daily experiments in changing quicksilver into gold. It was realized that his craft did not go beyond one pound of quicksilver… . Thus the belief is now held that his allegations to produce a number of millions have been a great fraud.
— Anonymous
'Further Successes by Bragadini. From Vienna on the 26th day of January 1590'. As quoted in George Tennyson Matthews (ed.) News and Rumor in Renaissance Europe: The Fugger Newsletters (1959), 179. A handwritten collection of news reports (1568-1604) by the powerful banking and merchant house of Fugger in Ausburg.
Confucius once said: “our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do”. Scholars believe he was referring to roller coasters.
— Anonymous
The anonymous quote includes an embedded quote misattributed to Confucius; it is not in his writings. It is first seen written (… but in rising every time we fall) by Oliver Goldmith, in The Citizen of the World: or, Letters from a Chinese Philosopher, Residing in London, to His Friends in the East (1762). The imaginary letters are from an invented character, Lien Chi Altangi, and include Goldsmith’s probably fictional reference to Confucius for verisimilitude. See the quoteinvestigator.com website for more details.
Copying extensively from one source is plagiarism; copying extensively from several is research.
— Anonymous
N. E. Renton, Compendium of Good Writing: A Plain English Guide (2007), 113.
Coughs and sneezes spread diseases.
— Anonymous
British wartime slogan (1942)
Creation came out of chaos, is surrounded by chaos, and will end in chaos.
— Anonymous
Given in Kathleen McAuliffe, 'Get Smart: Controlling Chaos,' Omni (1990), 12, No. 5, 43. As quoted and cited in Information Technology, It’s for everyone!: Proceedings of the LITA Third National Conference, Library and Information Technology Association, Denver, September 13-16, 1992 (1992), 202.
Daylight Saving Time: Only the government would believe that you could cut a foot off the top of a blanket, sew it to the bottom, and have a longer blanket.
— Anonymous
Daylight savings time—why are they saving it, and where do they keep it?
— Anonymous
Seen, for example, collected in Stephen Motway, Jokes, Quotes, and Other Assorted Things (2010), 327.
Defendit numerus: There is safety in numbers.
— Anonymous
Latin proverb, first recorded in English about 1550. In James Roy Newman (ed.) The World of Mathematics (1956), Vol. 3, 1452.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
— Anonymous
Dermatology is the best specialty. The patient never dies and never gets well.
— Anonymous
J. Dantith and A. Isaacs, Medical Quotes: A Thematic Dictionary (1989)
Descended from the apes? My dear, we will hope it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
— Anonymous
Remark by the wife of a canon of Worcester Cathedral. Quoted in Ashley Montagu, Manʹs Most Dangerous Myth: the Fallacy of Race (1945), 27.
Did you hear Oxygen cheated on Magnesium? OMg.
— Anonymous
Joke found on the Web
Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
— Anonymous
In Richard Alan Krieger, Civilization’s Quotations: Life’s Ideal (2002), 6. Although this source, and a number of others, attribute the quote to Ralph Waldo Emerson, none that the webmaster found have a citation, and a number of other sources treat it as anonymous. Thus, the webmaster references Emerson with doubt. If you know a definitive primary print source, please contact the webmaster.
Do not trust atoms. They make up everything.
— Anonymous
Do Roman paramedics refer to IVs as “4s”?
— Anonymous
Doctor says he would be a very sick man if were still alive today.
— Anonymous
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
— Anonymous
Thomas F. Shubnell, Greatest Jokes of the Century Book 2 (2008), 90.
Doesn’t it strike you as odd
That a commonplace fellow like Todd Should spell if you please,
His name with two Ds.
When one is sufficient for God.
That a commonplace fellow like Todd Should spell if you please,
His name with two Ds.
When one is sufficient for God.
— Anonymous
Quoted by M. G. De St. V. Atkins, The Times (22 Jan 1997), from memory of a conversation with 'an American tribiologist' who recalled it as current when he was an undergraduate at Christ's College.
Don’t take your organs to heaven with you. Heaven knows we need them here.
[Slogan advocating organ donations.]
[Slogan advocating organ donations.]
— Anonymous
Don’t think of organ donations as giving up part of yourself to keep a total stranger alive. It’s really a total stranger giving up almost all of themselves to keep part of you alive.
— Anonymous
…...
Don’t trust everything you see. Even salt looks like sugar.
— Anonymous
Relevant to the need for careful observation in science. Found among inspirational quotes related to “Trust”, sometimes seen attributed to Narges Obaid. Webmaster has not yet found any primary source. The resemblance has been long known, for example in The Child’s Friend (Jul 1885), 11, 108: “It looks like sugar, and tastes like — like — salt!”
Dr Bell fell down the well
And broke his collar bone
Doctors should attend the sick
And leave the well alone.
And broke his collar bone
Doctors should attend the sick
And leave the well alone.
— Anonymous
Dressed very plainly, usually with a plain brown skirt of tweed. No cosmetics. Neat but not ostentatious. After all, business was business. She [Florence Sabin] would lecture twice a week. Very rapidly spoken, a little muddy—she was so enthusiastic in trying to correlate the scientific and medical aspect of anatomy (histology). She would tear up her notes after each lecture so that she would have to work it over the next year.
— Anonymous
Described by an unnamed student in associate professor Sabin’s histology class at Johns Hopkins University (1909), as quoted, without citation, in Vincent T. Andriole, 'Florence Rena Sabin—Teacher, Scientist, Citizen', Journal of the History of Medicine and Allied Sciences (Jul 1959), 14, No. 3, (July 1959), 325.
Education is a journey, not a destination.
— Anonymous
In Mary Belle Harris, I Knew Them in Prison (1936), 383. (This example, which shows the quote already in use by 1936, actually says 'Reformation, like education, is a journey...'.)
Electrical Engineering: Peace be amplified, world be rectified.
— Anonymous
Electrical Engineers: No resistance can drop our potential.
— Anonymous
Electrical Engineers: We step up, We Transform.
— Anonymous
Engineers think that equations approximate the real world.
Physicists think that the real world approximates equations.
Mathematicians are unable to make the connection.
Physicists think that the real world approximates equations.
Mathematicians are unable to make the connection.
— Anonymous
In Jon Fripp, Michael Fripp and Deborah Fripp, Speaking of Science (2000), 41.
Enough research will tend to support your theory.
— Anonymous
In Murphy’s Law by Arthur Bloch (1977), and titled 'Murphy’s Law of Research'.
Entropy is the universe’s tendency to go completely bullshit.
— Anonymous
attributed to Onsager
Entropy isn’t what it used to be.
— Anonymous
Thomas F. Shubnell, Greatest Jokes of the Century Book 2 (2008), 90.
Even a good operation done poorly is still a poor operation.
— Anonymous
Every disaster movie starts with the Government ignoring a scientist.
— Anonymous
From Twitter photo by @ehekkala, of Poster at New York City Climate Strike (20 Sep 2019).
Every morning in Africa, a Gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning a Lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest Gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn't matter whether you are a Lion or a Gazelle; when the sun comes up, you'd better be running.
— Anonymous
As seen in The Economist (1985), 296, 37. Sometimes cited in other sources as an African proverb. For example, referred as from a poster of an old African proverb in Venise T. Berry, So Good (1996), 241.
Every schoolmaster knows that for every one person who wants to teach there are approximately 30 who don’t want to learn – much.
— Anonymous
Found in a book, on a table at a campsite on Taveuni Island in Fiji. As recorded by Peter, in outdoor travel blog, 'Leaving the Teaching Profession', Atlas & Boots (13 Sep 2014).
Every science thinks it is the science.
— Anonymous
In Leonard and Thelma Spinrad, Speaker's Lifetime Library (1979), 220.
Every technological success is hailed as a great scientific achievement; every technological disaster is deemed an engineering failure.
— Anonymous
Everybody loves a fat man.
— Anonymous
American saying
Everyone faces at all times two fateful possibilities: one is to grow older, the other not.
— Anonymous
Exercise is good for your health, but like everything else it can be overdone.
— Anonymous
Arabic Proverb. In Shape Magazine. In Dr. Paul C. Bragg, Dr. Patricia Bragg, Super Power Breathing (1999), 62.
Experience is a comb that Nature gives man after he has gone bald.
— Anonymous
Thai saying. In Dr. N Sreedharan, Quotations of Wit and Wisdom (2007), 24.
Experience is the mother of science.
— Anonymous
Collected in Henery George Bohn, A Handbook of Proverbs: Comprising Ray's Collection of English Proverbs (1855), 352.
Experiment adds to knowledge, Credulity leads to error.
— Anonymous
Arabic Proverb.
Exploratory operation: a remunerative reconnaissance.
— Anonymous
Fact is not enough, opinion is too much.
— Anonymous
Seen on the web attributed to Todor Simeonov, but Webmaster has not been able to verify. Contact Webmaster if you have a primary source.
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
— Anonymous
In Evan Esar, 20,000 Quips and Quotes (1995), 765. Sometimes seen attributed, probably incorrectly, to Mark Twain. Webmaster has not yet found any primary source, and doubts that it is a Twain quote.
Faith is like electricity. You can't see it, but you can see its light shining on you.
— Anonymous
In 'Quotes and Quips', Hinduism Today Magazine (Jan-Mar 2009), web edition.
Fiction tends to become “fact” simply by serial passage via the printed page.
— Anonymous
Saying.
Fifty years ago the successful doctor was said to need three things; a top hat to give him Authority, a paunch to give him Dignity, and piles to give him an Anxious Expression.
— Anonymous
Lancet (1951), 1, 169.
Filthy water cannot be washed.
— Anonymous
African proverb. As given in William Edward Burghardt Du Bois (ed.), The Crisis: A Record Of The Darker Races (1969), Vol. 30-31, 87.
For every complex question there is a simple answer–and it's wrong.
— Anonymous
Although often seen attributed to H.L. Mencken, webmaster has not found found a primary source, and no authoritative quote collection containing it. If you have a primary source, please contact webmaster, who meanwhile lists this quote as only being author unknown.
For most diagnoses all that is needed is an ounce of knowledge, an ounce of intelligence, and a pound of thoroughness.
— Anonymous
Arabic Proverb. In Lancet (1951). In John Murtagh, General Practice (1998), 125.
For want of a nail the shoe was lost; for want of a shoe the horse was lost; and for want of a horse, the rider was lost, being overtaken and slain by the enemy; all for the want of a horse-shoe nail.
— Anonymous
As given in Benjamin Franklin, The Way to Wealth; As Clearly Shewn in the Preface of an Old Pennsylvania Almanack, Intitled, Poor Richard Improved (1774), 8. There are various other wordings of this proverb, including loss of the knight or message, the battle, the kingdom: “For want of a nail, the shoe was lost; For want of a shoe, the horse was lost; For want of a horse, the rider was lost; For want of a rider, the battle was lost; For want of a battle, the kingdom was lost.”
Four college students taking a class together, had done so well through the semester, and each had an “A”. They were so confident, the weekend before finals, they went out partying with friends. Consequently, on Monday, they overslept and missed the final. They explained to the professor that they had gone to a remote mountain cabin for the weekend to study, but, unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back, didn’t have a spare, and couldn’t get help for a long time. As a result, they missed the final. The professor kindly agreed they could make up the final the following day. When they arrived the next morning, he placed them each in separate rooms, handed each one a test booklet, and told them to begin. The the first problem was simple, worth 5 points. Turning the page they found the next question, written: “(For 95 points): Which tire?”
— Anonymous
From common salt are obtained chemically as primary derivatives chlorine—both a war gas and a means of purifying water; and 'caustic soda.' … [O]n the chlorine side there is obtained chloride of lime, (a bleaching powder and a disinfectant), chloroform (an anesthetic), phosgene (a frightful ware gas), chloroacetophenone (another war gas), and an indigo and a yellow dye. [O]n the soda side we get metallic sodium, from which are derived sodium cyanide (a disinfectant), two medicines with [long] names, another war gas, and a beautiful violet dye. Thus, from a healthful, preservative condiment come things useful and hurtful—according to the intent or purpose.
— Anonymous
The Homiletic Review, Vol. 83-84 (1922), Vol. 83, 209.
Garbage in, garbage out.
— Anonymous
Saying.
Get up at five, have lunch at nine,
Supper at five, retire at nine,
And you will live to ninety-nine.
Supper at five, retire at nine,
And you will live to ninety-nine.
— Anonymous
Give 'em 2.5 cm, and they'll take 1.6 km.
— Anonymous
Go as far as you can see; when you get there, you'll be able to see farther.
— Anonymous
Seen in some recent books attributed to J.P. Morgan, but no early example found. If you know a primary source, please contact Webmaster.
God may forgive your sins, but your nervous system won't.
— Anonymous
This is not a statement made by Alfred Korzybski, although he quoted it and attributed it as "an old maxim" in the Introduction to the second edition of his book, Science and Sanity: An Introduction to Non-Aristotelian Systems and General Semantics (1941, 4th ed. 1958), xxxvii. It is included here to provide a correction for readers who find it listed elsewhere as an original quote he made.
God's Registrar.
[Referring to Carolus Linnaeus, who is also known as Father of Taxonomy.]
[Referring to Carolus Linnaeus, who is also known as Father of Taxonomy.]
— Anonymous
In Heinz Goerke Linnaeus (1966) trans. by Denver Lindley (1973), 89, Title of Chapter 8.
Gravity tells us why an apple doesn’t go to heaven.
— Anonymous
In Cecil Hunt, The Best Howlers (1957).
Great Empedocles, that ardent soul,
Leapt into Etna and was roasted whole.
Leapt into Etna and was roasted whole.
— Anonymous
As quoted, from an unknown poet, in Bertrand Russell, A History of Western Philosophy (1946), 60.
Great science is an art.
— Anonymous
In Leonard and Thelma Spinrad, Speaker's Lifetime Library (1979), 220.
Guide to understanding a net.addict’s day:
Slow day: didn’t have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three hours of usenet.
Slow day: didn’t have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three hours of usenet.
— Anonymous
Probably originated earlier, but Webmaster found it posted, cited as Anonymous, in the alt.quotations discussion group, at least as early as 2009.
Half of the secret of resistance to disease is cleanliness; the other half is dirtiness.
— Anonymous
Saying.
Half the people you know are below average.
— Anonymous
Harvard Law: Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well pleases.
— Anonymous
The Coevolution Quarterly, Nos. 8-12 (1975), 138.
Have faith in the Lord but use sulphur for the itch.
— Anonymous
He never got drunk, he never got tired, and he never perspired.
[Harvard chemistry students’ axioms.]
[Harvard chemistry students’ axioms.]
— Anonymous
As attributed in John D. Roberts, The Right Place at the Right Time (1990), 52.
He thought the formula for water was H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O (H-to-O).
— Anonymous
In Lowell D. Streiker, An Encyclopedia of Humor (1998), 173.
He who has health has hope; and he who has hope has everything.
— Anonymous
Arabic proverb.
He who knows not, and knows not he knows not, he is a fool—shun him;
He who knows not, and knows he knows not, he is simple—teach him;
He who knows, and knows not he knows, he is asleep—wake him;
He who knows, and knows he knows, he is wise—follow him.
He who knows not, and knows he knows not, he is simple—teach him;
He who knows, and knows not he knows, he is asleep—wake him;
He who knows, and knows he knows, he is wise—follow him.
— Anonymous
Hesiod, 'Works and Days,' 293-7. In William White, Notes and Queries (1904), Series 10, Vol. 1, 235, the correspondent H.A. Strong says that the origin of these lines is to be found in Hesiod [Greek, 8th Century B.C.], Works and Days, 293-7; that the passage was very celebrated in antiquity, and is quoted by Aristotle, Nic. Eth., i. 4; and that both Livy (xxii. 29) and Cicero (Pro Cluent., 31) refer to it. Another correspondent (J.H.K.) said it was stated to be an Arab proverb in Lady [Isabel] Burton, Life of [Captain] Sir Richard [F.] Burton (1893), Vol. 1, 548, footnote, which prepends to the quote, “Men are four.”
He who opens a school door, closes a prison.
— Anonymous
No known primary source for the often-seen faulty attribution to Victor Hugo. The closest to Hugo could be a very loose paraphrase of “Destroy the cave Ignorance, and you destroy the mole Crime," in Les Miserables, Part III: Marius, Book VII: Patron Minette, Chapter 2: The lowest depth.
Here are the opinions on which my facts are based.
— Anonymous
Saying.
Here lies one who for medicines would not give
A little gold, and so his life he lost;
I fancy now he’d wish again to live,
Could he but guess how much his funeral cost.
A little gold, and so his life he lost;
I fancy now he’d wish again to live,
Could he but guess how much his funeral cost.
— Anonymous
Here's to pure mathematics—may it never be of any use to anybody.
— Anonymous
A toast, variously attributed as used of old at Cambridge University, or as used by G.N. Hardy (according to Arthur C. Clarke in 'The Joy of Maths', Greetings, Carbon-Based Bipeds!: Collected Essays, 1934-1998 (2001), 460).
How can one really know a great moment unless one has first felt a great disappointment?
— Anonymous
Jewish saying. As quoted in Harry Gilbert and Diana Gilbert Smith, Gravity, the Glue of the Universe: History and Activities (1997), 43.
Humpty Dumpty sate on a wall,
Humpti dumpti had a great fall;
Threescore men and threescore more,
Cannot place Humpty dumpty as he was before.
Humpti dumpti had a great fall;
Threescore men and threescore more,
Cannot place Humpty dumpty as he was before.
— Anonymous
Nursery rhyme. In Joseph Ritson, Gammer Gurton's Garland: or, the Nursery Parnassus; a Choice Collection of Pretty Songs and Verses For the Amusement of All Little Good Children (1810), 36.
Hypochondria is the only disease I haven't got.
— Anonymous
Graffito seen in New York (1978). In (2005), 24
I have found a wonderful solution to Fermats’ Last Theorem—but my train is leaving.
— Anonymous
Graffiti on wall of subway, New York. As quoted in William Reville, 'The Science of Writing a Good Joke', The Irish Times (5 Jun 2000).
I ordered a chicken and egg from Amazon. I will let you know.
— Anonymous
I remember, I remember,
When an atom was so small
It really hardly paid you
To think of one at all.
It was so small that anywhere
An atom safe could be
And pass his time in molecules
In elemental glee.
When an atom was so small
It really hardly paid you
To think of one at all.
It was so small that anywhere
An atom safe could be
And pass his time in molecules
In elemental glee.
— Anonymous
In 'Past and Present' Industrial and Engineering Chemistry: News Edition (20 Apr 1934), 12, No. 3, 161. [No, Virginia, there is no Peter Atkins who wrote this piece published in 1934—he wasn’t born until 1940. That’s a misattribution if ever I saw one. So don’t believe everything you see in poorly curated web collections of quotes. —Webmaster]
I studied for my degree in Calcium Anthropology: the study of milkmen.
— Anonymous
I think it’s in my basement… let me go upstairs and check. —M.C. Escher [joke attribution]
— Anonymous
Widely seen feral on the web. Webmaster has not yet found a primary source for this a quote, and regards it as an anonymous joke, with a false attribution to Escher as part of the joke (because Escher’s art works are known for distorted reality). Compare the authentic quote, “Are you really sure that a floor can’t also be a ceiling?” on the M.C. Escher Quotes page of this site.
I think modern science should graft functional wings on a pig, simply so no one can ever use that stupid saying again.
— Anonymous
In K. D. Sullivan, A Cure for the Common Word (2007), 134.
I will be moving through the book as if on a train looking out at the beautiful landscape of the Arts.
— Anonymous
An opinion posted on yougov.com (13 Jan 2017) describing reading a novel set after the Russian Revolution with much historical background, stimulating the reader’s interest on the literature, painting and performing arts of the time.
I wish I were a glow-worm.
A glow-worm’s never glum.
How can you be unhappy,
When a light shines out your bum.
A glow-worm’s never glum.
How can you be unhappy,
When a light shines out your bum.
— Anonymous
If a research project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing properly.
— Anonymous
Saying.
If a train station is where the train stops, what is a work station?
— Anonymous
In Andrew Davison, Humour the Computer (1995), 36.
If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
— Anonymous
Often seen misattributed (?) to George Bernard Shaw, but there appears to be no source in the writings of Shaw. However, the theme "laid end to end, they would not" has long been used humorously in various incarnations. For example, “If all the arguments in the world were placed end to end, they would not reach any conclusion”, as used by Tom Sims in 'Tom Sims Says', Brownwood Bulletin (18 Jul 1925), 4. The subject quote was attributed to Shaw by George Soule in 'Bridges to the Unknown', in The Saturday Review of Literature (20 May 1933), 9, No. 44, 601. See discussion on the quoteinvestigator.com website.
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again.
— Anonymous
Old saying.
If God did not intend for us to eat animals, why did he make them taste so good?
— Anonymous
If I were summing up the qualities of a good teacher of medicine, I would enumerate human sympathy, moral and intellectual integrity, enthusiasm, and ability to talk, in addition, of course, to knowledge of his subject.
— Anonymous
If in our withered leaves you see
Hint of your own mortality:—
Think how, when they have turned to earth,
New loveliness from their rich worth
Shall spring to greet the light; then see
Death as the keeper of eternity,
And dying Life’s perpetual re-birth !
Hint of your own mortality:—
Think how, when they have turned to earth,
New loveliness from their rich worth
Shall spring to greet the light; then see
Death as the keeper of eternity,
And dying Life’s perpetual re-birth !
— Anonymous
Poem attributed with initials W.L., epigraph for chapter on 'The Nitrogen Cycle', in Arthur E. Shipley, Life: A Book for Elementary Students (1925, 2013), 37.
If it’s green or wriggles, it’s biology. If it stinks, it’s chemistry. If it doesn’t work, it’s physics or engineering. If it’s green and wiggles and stinks and still doesn’t work, it’s psychology. If it’s incomprehensible, it’s mathematics. If it puts you to sleep, it’s statistics.
— Anonymous
In Journal of the South African Institute of Mining and Metallurgy (1978), 79, 97, and additional lines from other sources.
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
— Anonymous
Usually seen without any source. Although sometimes attributed to George Carlin or Stephen Wright, Webmaster has, so far, identified no primary source. Can you help?
If medical science continues to prolong human life, some of us may eventually pay off the mortgage.
— Anonymous
In Evan Esar, 20,000 Quips & Quotes (1968, 1995), 532.
If the experiment works, you must be using the wrong experiment. An experiment has a tendency to fail
— Anonymous
In Dr. N Sreedharan, Quotations of Wit and Wisdom (2007), 24.
If the only tool you have is a hammer, then every problem looks like a nail.
— Anonymous
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
— Anonymous
If thou examinest a man having a break in the column of his nose, his nose being disfigured, and a [depression] being in it, while the swelling that is on it protrudes, [and] he had discharged blood from both his nostrils, thou shouldst say concerning him: “One having a break in the column of his nose. An ailment which I will treat. “Thou shouldst cleanse [it] for him [with] two plugs of linen. Thou shouldst place two [other] plugs of linen saturated with grease in the inside of his two nostrils. Thou shouldst put [him] at his mooring stakes until the swelling is drawn out. Thou shouldst apply for him stiff rolls of linen by which his nose is held fast. Thou shouldst treat him afterward [with] lint, every day until he recovers.
— Anonymous
(circa 1700 B.C.) From “The Edwin Smith Surgical Papyrus”, an ancient Egyptian document regarded as the earliest known historical record of scientific thought. As translated in James Henry Breasted, The Edwin Smith Surgical Papyrus: Published in Facsimile and Hieroglyphic Transliteration with Translation and Commentary (1930), 440.
If three simple questions and one well chosen laboratory test lead to an unambiguous diagnosis, why harry the patient with more?
— Anonymous
Editorial, 'Clinical decision by numbers'. Lancet (1975) 1, 1077.
If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn’t be research.
— Anonymous
Seen in various publications attributed—but without citation—to Albert Einstein. Also seen attributed to J.C. Stamos. Webmaster is doubtful, and is placing it under Anonymous. But, if you know the primary print source, perhaps in different wording, please contact the Webmaster.
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill.
— Anonymous
African proverb, Transvaal
If You Build Your House on a Crack in the Earth, It’s Your Own Fault.
— Anonymous
Purported title of a scientific paper on earthquakes, in Laurence J. Peter, Peter’s People (1979), 168. Webmaster has found no evidence that this paper actually exists. Can you help?
If you intend to give a sick man medicine, let him get very ill first, so that he may see the benefit of your medicine.
— Anonymous
African proverb, Nupe
If you keep your standards high, people will always find a place for you.
— Anonymous
Found in The NIH Catalyst (May-June 2003), 11, No. 3, 8, as part of list 'A Scientist’s Dozen,' cited as “culled and adapted…from a variety of sources” by Howard Young.
If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems that way.
— Anonymous
If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.
— Anonymous
Widely seen as a purported quote by Tesla, however Webmaster, as yet, has found no reliable primary source for this quote. Webmaster greatly doubts that it is an authentic Tesla quote. The quote is intriguing, has widely spread virally, and is duplicated in various copycat quote collections, but that cannot create any authenticity. On a webpage by Ralph Bergstresser about the healing powers of the Ganges River, he footnotes the quote as from “a conversation with the famous scientist, Dr. Nikola Tesla, in 1942.” Note that late in life, Tesla was reclusive, with fading energy and mental health, and died in poverty on 7 Jan 1943. Webmaster places no credibility on said source, and therefore regards it as no more than Anonymous.
If you’re going to be an alec, you might as well be a smart one.
— Anonymous
…...
If you've got time to kill, work it to death.
— Anonymous
In Bob Phillips, Phillips' Treasury of Humorous Quotations (2004), 253.
If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
— Anonymous
Imagine if trees gave free WIFI. We’d all be planting them like crazy. It’s a pity they only give us the oxygen we breathe.
— Anonymous
Internet meme.
In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would have taken many men many months to equal.
— Anonymous
In Civilization's Quotations: Life's Ideal (2002), 315.
In a watershed, we all live downstream.
— Anonymous
In diagnosis, the young are positive and the middle-aged tentative; only the old have flair.
— Anonymous
Lancet (1951), 1, 795.
In God we trust, all others must bring data.
— Anonymous
Variously attributed to W. Edwards Deming, George Box, Robert W. Hayden in different sources.
In Heaven there'll be no algebra,
No learning dates or names,
But only playing golden harps
And reading Henry James.
No learning dates or names,
But only playing golden harps
And reading Henry James.
— Anonymous
Displayed at James’s home, Lambs House in Rye. Said to have been written by Henry James’s nephew in the guest book there, as stated in J.D. McClatchy, Sweet Theft: A Poet's Commonplace Book (2016), 212.
https://books.google.com/books?isbn=1619027607
J.D. McClatchy - 2016
In mathematics, fractions speak louder than words.
— Anonymous
In Evan Esar, 20,000 Quips and Quotes, 509.
In modern thought, (if not in fact)
Nothing is that doesn’t act, So that is reckoned wisdom which
Describes the scratch but not the itch.
Nothing is that doesn’t act, So that is reckoned wisdom which
Describes the scratch but not the itch.
— Anonymous
Understanding Media: the Extensions of Man? (2nd Ed.,1964), 25.
In place of infinity we usually put some really big number, like 15.
Perhaps referring to the programmer’s hexadecimal counting scheme which has 16 digits (0-9 followed by digits A-F), useful in binary context as a power of 2.
Perhaps referring to the programmer’s hexadecimal counting scheme which has 16 digits (0-9 followed by digits A-F), useful in binary context as a power of 2.
— Anonymous
Attributed to a Computer Science Professor on various web pages. Webmaster has found no print source for this wording and comments, but its originality makes it worthy of inclusion here. Webmaster comments: perhaps one of those infinite number of monkeys typed it! Please make contact if you know a primary print source.
In the midst of your illness you will promise a goat, but when you have recovered, a chicken will seem sufficient.
— Anonymous
African proverb, Jukun
In the nineteenth century men lost their fear of God and acquired a fear of microbes.
— Anonymous
Indigestion is the failure to adjust a square meal to a round stomach.
— Anonymous
In E.C. McKenzie, 14,000 Quips and Quotes for Speakers, Writers, Editors, Preachers, and Teachers (1990), 546.
Intellectuals solve problems, geniuses prevent them.
— Anonymous
Widely found on the web as an Einstein quote, but Webmaster has not yet found a primary source. Can you help? It is probably yet another example of a “wise” quote to which Einstein’s name has been falsely attributed. For authentic quotes see Albert Einstein Quotes on Problem.
Introductory physics courses are taught at three levels: physics with calculus, physics without calculus, and physics without physics.
— Anonymous
…...
IODINE
It was Courtois discover'd Iodine
(In the commencement of this century),
Which, with its sisters, bromine and chlorine,
Enjoys a common parentage - the sea;
Although sometimes 'tis found, with other things,
In minerals and many saline springs.
But yet the quantity is so minute
In the great ocean, that a chemist might,
With sensibilities the most acute,
Have never brought this element to light,
Had he not thought it were as well to try
Where ocean's treasures concentrated lie.
And Courtois found that several plants marine,
Sponges, et cetera, exercise the art
Of drawing from the sea its iodine
In quantities sufficient to impart
Its properties; and he devised a plan
Of bringing it before us - clever man!
It was Courtois discover'd Iodine
(In the commencement of this century),
Which, with its sisters, bromine and chlorine,
Enjoys a common parentage - the sea;
Although sometimes 'tis found, with other things,
In minerals and many saline springs.
But yet the quantity is so minute
In the great ocean, that a chemist might,
With sensibilities the most acute,
Have never brought this element to light,
Had he not thought it were as well to try
Where ocean's treasures concentrated lie.
And Courtois found that several plants marine,
Sponges, et cetera, exercise the art
Of drawing from the sea its iodine
In quantities sufficient to impart
Its properties; and he devised a plan
Of bringing it before us - clever man!
— Anonymous
Discursive Chemical Notes in Rhyme (1876) by the Author of the Chemical Review, a B.
Isn’t it marvelous how those scientists know the names of all those stars?
— Anonymous
…...
It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class.
— Anonymous
It is as if Cleopatra fell off her barge in 40 BC and hasn't hit the water yet.
[Illustrating how strange the behaviour of kaon particles, when first found in cosmic rays, which lived without predicted decay for a surprisingly long time—seemingly postponed a million billion times longer than early theory expected.]
[Illustrating how strange the behaviour of kaon particles, when first found in cosmic rays, which lived without predicted decay for a surprisingly long time—seemingly postponed a million billion times longer than early theory expected.]
— Anonymous
In Frank Close, Michael Marten, Christine Sutton, The Particle Odyssey: a Journey to the Heart of the Matter (2004),75.
It is better to employ a doubtful remedy than to condemn the patient to a certain death.
— Anonymous
It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.
— Anonymous
Carl Sagan used these words as an epigraph preceding the 'Contents' page of A Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark (1996), citing it as an “Adage”.
It is not what disease the patient has but which patient has the disease.
— Anonymous
It is with narrow-souled people as with narrow-necked bottles, the less they have in them, the more noise they make in pouring out.
— Anonymous
It takes five years to learn when to operate and twenty years to learn when not to.
— Anonymous
It takes most men about two years to completely quit smoking cigarettes and twice as long to quit bragging about it.
— Anonymous
In E.C. McKenzie, 14,000 Quips and Quotes for Speakers, Writers, Editors, Preachers, and Teachers (1990), 84.
It was an admirable reply of a converted astronomer, who, when interrogated concerning his comparative estimate of religion and the science he had formerly idolized, answered, 'I am now bound for heaven, and I take the stars in my way.'
— Anonymous
In Tryon Edwards. A Dictionary of Thoughts (1908), 506.
It will never get well if you pick it.
— Anonymous
American saying
It’s a numbers game—in a dense urban area there are so many of us that even unintentional pollution would cause all the crap we see in the water.
— Anonymous
Posted by 'Lisa' (6 Mar 2008), Reply in blog 'Emerald City' to item 'The Plague that is the plastic bag, in photos', Los Angeles Times website (1 Mar 2008).
It’s easier to get forgiveness than permission.
— Anonymous
Just remember—when you think all is lost, the future remains.
— Anonymous
As given in Reader’s Digest (1975), 106, 23, it is cited as “Quoted by Bob Goddard in St. Louis Globe Democrat.” This “Bob Goddard” was likely repeating an anonymous aphorism. However, Webmaster has seen multiple examples of the quote being attributed, presumably by incorrect assumption, to Robert H. Goddard, the rocket engineer. As yet, Webmaster has found no primary source for the latter Goddard, and strongly suggests this is an anonymous aphorism, and not should not be further misattributed as originated by either Goddard. See also the Robert H. Goddard Quotes page on this website.
Knowledge leads us from the simple to the complex; wisdom leads us from the complex to the simple.
— Anonymous
In Dianna Daniels Booher, Your Signature Life: Pursuing God's Best Every Day (2003), 30.
Late children, early orphans.
— Anonymous
Laws of Thermodynamics
1) You cannot win, you can only break even.
2) You can only break even at absolute zero.
3) You cannot reach absolute zero.
1) You cannot win, you can only break even.
2) You can only break even at absolute zero.
3) You cannot reach absolute zero.
— Anonymous
Folklore amongst physicists.
Learning begets humility because the more a man knows, the more he discovers his ignorance.
— Anonymous
In Hialmer Day Gould, New Practical Spelling (1905), 27
Learning makes a man fit company for himself.
— Anonymous
Saying, collected in Thomas Fuller (ed.), Gnomologia: Adagies and Proverbs; Wise Sentences and Witty Sayings (1732), 135. Attributed to Edward Young in Tryon Edwards (ed.), A Dictionary of Thoughts (1891), 295, and other quote collections of the period. Webmaster has not yet found a specific work by Young that includes the quote. Note that in recent use, the quote is widely attributed to Fuller, but he did not write it, just collected it. Fuller included in this compilation interesting adages he had found from books, but did not identify specific sources. Young was a contemporary.
Let out the blood, let out the disease.
— Anonymous
Centuries-old aphorism popular up to the end of the 19th century
Let the sun never set or rise on a small bowel obstruction.
Adage expressing urgency for early operation to avoid possible fatality.
Adage expressing urgency for early operation to avoid possible fatality.
— Anonymous
Summary of classic advice by Georg Friedrich Louis Stromeyer (1804-76) for a stangulated hernia. In Joe J. Tjandra et al., Textbook of Surgery (2006), 159.
Life is extinct on other planets because their scientists were more advanced than ours.
— Anonymous
In Lily Splane, Quantum Consciousness (2004), 307
Like the crest of a peacock, like the gem on the head of a snake, so is mathematics at the head of all knowledge.
— Anonymous
From the oldest extant Indian astronomical text, Vedanga Jyotisa (c. 500 B.C.). Quoted, as cited by George Gheverghese Joseph, in Dick Teresi, Lost Discoveries (2003), 28. G. G. Joseph has written a book by the title Crest of the Peacock (1991).
Like the statistician who was drowned in a lake of average depth six inches.
— Anonymous
Saying.
Live and learn; die and forget it all.
— Anonymous
Loss of teeth and marriage spoil a woman’s beauty.
— Anonymous
African proverb
Love and pregnancy and riding on a camel cannot be hid.
— Anonymous
Arabic proverb.
Lubin's Law: If another scientist thought your research was more important than his, he would drop what he is doing and do what you are doing.
— Anonymous
In Dr. N Sreedharan, Quotations of Wit and Wisdom (2007), 68.
Making out an income tax is a lesson in mathematics: addition, division, multiplication and extraction.
— Anonymous
In Evan Esar, 20,000 Quips and Quotes, 419.
Man has an inalienable right to die of something.
— Anonymous
'Quack cures for cancer', Cardiff Mail (20 Oct 1923).
Man is the only animal that fouls its own nest.
— Anonymous
Used about man's pollution of his own environment. Webmaster has not found its original source. An example of its use is in the American Public Works Yearbook 1966 (1966), 326: “As you have heard too often, man is the only animal that fouls its own nest. One of the major accomplishments of civilization has been to bring that fouling process to a high degree of perfection. We foul the air we breath, the water we drink, the food we eat, the land we stand on, the landscape we look at, and the minds we think with.” Webmaster notes the similarity to an English proverb in use at least as early as 1839 concerning criticism of speech or social actions: “It is an ill bird that fouls its own nest.” See example in 'Craven' (ed.), The Sporting Review (Aug 1839), 132. (There may be an early example of Lewis Mumford using the subject quote. If you know it, please contact Webmaster.)
Man occasionally stumbles on the truth, but then just picks himself up and hurries on regardless.
— Anonymous
Saying.
Many Americans are trying to conserve energy as never before—they're now burning their morning toast on only one side.
— Anonymous
In E.C. McKenzie, 14,000 Quips and Quotes for Speakers, Writers, Editors, Preachers, and Teachers (1990), 156.
Many physicians would prefer passing a small kidney stone to presenting a paper.
— Anonymous
Journal of the American Medical Association (1960) 174, 292.
Marriage is an ancient institution and most of our knowledge of antiquity is gleaned from shattered pottery.
— Anonymous
In Evan Esar, 20,000 Quips & Quotes (1968, 1995), 40.
Marriage—a stage between infancy and adultery.
— Anonymous
Math is like love—a simple idea but it can get complicated.
— Anonymous
Quoted in Jon Fripp, Michael Fripp, Deborah Fripp Speaking of Science: Notable Quotes on Science, Engineering, and the Environment (2000), 45, and attributed to “R. Drabek” with no further source information. Webmaster wonders if this is a typo for mathematician, Pavel Drábek.
Mathematics is music for the mind; music is mathematics for the soul.
— Anonymous
In Nat Shapiro (ed.) An Encyclopedia of Quotations About Music (1981), 3.
Mathematics is strange: many make thousands but not many make millions.
— Anonymous
In Evan Esar, 20,000 Quips and Quotes, 250.
Medical statistics are like a bikini bathing suit: what they reveal is interesting; what they conceal is vital.
— Anonymous
'Shoot Out in Marlboro Country', Mother Jones Magazine (Jan 1979), 36.
Medicine has been defined to be the art or science of amusing a sick man with frivolous speculations about his disorder, and of tampering ingeniously, till nature either kills or cures him.
— Anonymous
In Tryon Edwards (ed.), A Dictionary of Thoughts (1908), 339.
Medicine is a science, acquiring a practice an art.
— Anonymous
In Wystan Hugh Auden, The Viking Book of Aphorisms: A Personal Selection (), 217.
Medicine is not meant to live on.
— Anonymous
Collected in Henery George Bohn, A Handbook of Proverbs: Comprising Ray's Collection of English Proverbs (1855), 25.
Medicine, like every useful science, should be thrown open to the observation and study of all. It should, in fact, like law and every important science, be made part of the primary education of the people. … We should at once explode the whole machinery of mystification and concealment—wigs, gold canes, and the gibberish of prescriptions—which serves but as a cloak to ignorance and legalized murder.
— Anonymous
Populist philosophy, of Samuel Thomson (1769-1843), founder of the Thomsonian System of medicine, as stated in New York Evening Star (27 Dec 1833)., as cited in the Thomsonian Recorder (17 Jan 1835), 3, 127. Quoted in Paul Starr The Social Transformation of American Medicine (1984), 56.
Microbiology Lab - Staph Only
— Anonymous
Thomas F. Shubnell, Greatest Jokes of the Century Book 2 (2008), 90.
Mind over matter.
— Anonymous
Minus times Minus equals Plus:
The reason for this we need not discuss.
The reason for this we need not discuss.
— Anonymous
The poet W.H. Auden recalled being asked to learn this mnemonic in school around 1919. As stated in 'Auden on Poetry: A Conversation with Stanley Kunitz', The Atlantic (1981), 218, 100.
Most kids can't understand why a country that makes atomic bombs would ban fireworks.
— Anonymous
In E.C. McKenzie, 14,000 Quips and Quotes for Speakers, Writers, Editors, Preachers, and Teachers (1990), 24.
Mother Nature is a bitch.
— Anonymous
My friend was explaining electricity and I was like watt?
— Anonymous
My friend was sick: I attended him.
He died; I dissected him.
He died; I dissected him.
— Anonymous
My God all that reality!
— Anonymous
Actor's remark a doctor's profession.
My Math teacher called me average. How mean!
— Anonymous
Nature is by nature perverse.
— Anonymous
Saying.
Necessity is the mother of invention.
— Anonymous
Collected in Henery George Bohn, A Handbook of Proverbs: Comprising Ray's Collection of English Proverbs (1855), 457. Sometimes attributed to Plato, as it appears in later translations of his The Republic, but also said to be perhaps a translator’s contemporary phrase rather than a literal version of Plato's words. In another translation, by by Paul Shorey (1969), Book II, Section 369c is given merely as “let us create a city from the beginning, in our theory. Its real creator, as it appears, will be our needs.”
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the Ark, professionals built the Titanic.
— Anonymous
Ralph Keyes, in The Quote Verifier: Who Said What, Where, and When (2007), 116, states “This is a new saw that floats about in search of an originator.” It was seen, for example, in the her advice column, shortly before Abby stopped writing her column. A variant, with only the “amateurs” and “professionals" clauses, appears as early 1984 in The World Economy, Vol. 7, 406.
Never burn your bridges, especially if you pursue science as a career.
— Anonymous
Found in The NIH Catalyst (May-June 2003), 11, No. 3, 8, as part of list 'A Scientist’s Dozen,' cited as “culled and adapted…from a variety of sources” by Howard Young.
Never confuse a fool’s gold opportunity with a silver bullet solution.
— Anonymous
Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.
— Anonymous
Newton[’s] Principia…is more biblical than just a text. It is the equivalent of Euclid’s elements. … These principles talk of the philosophy that is…exonerated by the success of application.
— Anonymous
From review by an unnamed reader of Ernst Mach and Thomas J. McCormack (trans.), The Science of Mechanics: A Critical and Historical Exposition of Its Principles (1893), Google Books id=4OE2AAAAMAAJ.
No man is a good physician who has never been sick.
— Anonymous
Arabic proverb.
No one believes the results of the computational modeler except the modeler, for only he understands the premises. No one doubts the experimenter’s results except the experimenter, for only he knows his mistakes.
— Anonymous
See a similar idea expressed by W.I.B. Beveredge, beginning “No one believes an hypothesis…” on the W.I.B. Beveredge Quotes web page on this site.
No physician is really good before he has killed one or two patients.
— Anonymous
Hindu Proverb. In Colin Jarman, The Book of Poisonous Quotes (1993), 234.
No question is so difficult as that to which the answer is obvious.
— Anonymous
Saying.
No sense being pessimistic, it probably wouldn't work anyway.
— Anonymous
Thomas F. Shubnell, Greatest Jokes of the Century Book 2 (2008), 90.
No woman wants an abortion. Either she wants a child or she wishes to avoid pregnancy.
— Anonymous
Letter to the Lancet
Nobody loves a fat man.
— Anonymous
American saying
Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.
— Anonymous
This is often seen attributed—incorrectly—to Sir Arthur S. Eddington, for example, in Norman K. Glendenning, Our Place in the Universe (2007), 1. It is similar to a quote by J.B.S. Haldane, “The Universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose.” In Possible Worlds and Other Papers (1927), 286.
Not to teach a class, but to conduct it: I punch the tickets and call out the stops along the way.
— Anonymous
As quoted in Carol Edgarian and Tom Jenks (eds.), The Writer’s Life: Intimate Thoughts on Work, Love, Inspiration, and Fame from the Diaries of the World's Great Writers (1997), 16.
Nowadays there is a pill for everything—to keep your nose from running, to keep you regular, to keep your heart beating, to keep your hair from falling out, to improve your muscle tone ... Why thanks to advances in medical science, every day people are dying who never looked better.
— Anonymous
In Ashton Applewhite, William R. Evans and Andrew Frothingham, And I Quote (2003), 174-175.
Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.
— Anonymous
One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the orangutan was reading two books—the Bible and Darwin’s Origin of Species. In surprise, he asked the ape,“Why are you reading both those books?”
“Well,” said the orangutan, “I just wanted to know if I was my brother’s keeper, or my keeper’s brother.”
“Well,” said the orangutan, “I just wanted to know if I was my brother’s keeper, or my keeper’s brother.”
— Anonymous
In Jon Fripp, Michael Fripp and Deborah Fripp, Speaking of Science (2000), 27.
One humiliating thing about science is that it is gradually filling our homes with appliances smarter than we are.
— Anonymous
In The Reader's Digest (1952), 61, 44.
One of the first things a boy learns with a chemistry set is that he'll never get another one.
— Anonymous
In Evan Esar, 20,000 Quips and Quotes, 128.
One of the largest promises of science is, that the sum of human happiness will be increased, ignorance destroyed, and, with ignorance, prejudice and superstition, and that great truth taught to all, that this world and all it contains were meant for our use and service; and that where nature by her own laws has defined the limits of original unfitness, science may by extract so modify those limits as to render wholesome that which by natural wildness was hurtful, and nutritious that which by natural poverty was unnourishing. We do not yet know half that chemistry may do by way of increasing our food.
— Anonymous
'Common Cookery'. Household Words (26 Jan 1856), 13, 45. An English weekly magazine edited by Charles Dickens.
One person could change the whole world for better, as long as they don’t give a damn who gets the credit.
— Anonymous
One thousand Americans stop smoking every day - by dying.
— Anonymous
…...
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
— Anonymous
Although widely seen attributed to Thomas Edison, but only since 1962. This is an adage that Thomas Edison may have heard in his time, but there is no known primary source confirming that he spoke these words. So “Anonymous” is the appropriate attribution. See the quoteinvestigator.com website for a more detailed discussion of the precursors of this quote.
Our clocks do not measure time. ... Time is defined to be what our clocks measure.
— Anonymous
Unnamed person at the National Institute of Standards and Technology in Boulder, U.S.A., quoted by Tim Folger in 'Newsflash: Time May Not Exist', Discover Magazine (Jun 2007).
Our Professor, which doth have tenure,
Feared be thy name.
Thy sets partition,
Thy maps commute,
In groups as in vector spaces.
Give us this day our daily notation,
And forgive us our obtuseness,
As we forgive tutors who cannot help us.
Lead us not into Lye rings,
But deliver us from eigenvalues,
For thine is the logic, the notation, and the accent,
That confuses us forever.
Amen.
Feared be thy name.
Thy sets partition,
Thy maps commute,
In groups as in vector spaces.
Give us this day our daily notation,
And forgive us our obtuseness,
As we forgive tutors who cannot help us.
Lead us not into Lye rings,
But deliver us from eigenvalues,
For thine is the logic, the notation, and the accent,
That confuses us forever.
Amen.
— Anonymous
'Algebra Prayer' by an unnamed University of Toronto mathematics student. On the Department of Mathematics, University of Toronto web site.
Palliative care should be an integral part of cancer care and not be associated exclusively with terminal care. Many patients need it early in the course of their disease.
— Anonymous
Improving the Quality of Cancer Care. A Report of the Expert Advisory Group on Cancer to the Chief Medical Officers of England and Wales (1995). Quoted in Jessica Corner and Christopher Bailey, Cancer Nursing (2001),543.
Parenthood is the only profession that has been left exclusively to amateurs.
— Anonymous
Patients and their families will forgive you for wrong diagnoses, but will rarely forgive you for wrong prognoses; the older you grow in medicine, the more chary you get about offering iron clad prognoses, good or bad.
— Anonymous
David Seegal, Journal of Chronic Diseases (1963), 16, 443.
People do more talking than listening: under the law of gravity, it takes more energy to shut one's mouth than to open it.
— Anonymous
In Evan Esar, 20,000 Quips and Quotes, 267.
Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.
— Anonymous
In Wieslaw Krawcewicz, Bindhyachal Rai, Calculus with Maple Labs (2003), 328. In this book, and also in Julian Havil, Nonplussed!: Mathematical Proof of Implausible Ideas? (2007), 68, the quote is attributed to Ian Ellis, but most sources vite it as Anonymous.
Physicians and politicians resemble one another in this respect, that some defend the constitution and others destroy it.
— Anonymous
Acton or the Circle of Life : A Collection of Thoughts and Observations (1849), 190.
Physicians are rather like undescended testicles, they are difficult to locate and when they are found, they are pretty ineffective.
— Anonymous
Susi Greenwood, Book of Humorous Medical Anecdotes (1989), 47.
Piphobia is an irrational fear.
— Anonymous
Plants do it with style.
— Anonymous
Note: the style of a flower is a tube that connects the pollen on the stigma to the ovary and enables reproduction.
Poison should be tried out on a frog.
— Anonymous
African proverb, Bantu
Poverty is a virtue greatly exaggerated by physicians no longer forced to practise it.
— Anonymous
Q: What is the volume of an object with radius = Z and height = A?
A: Pi * Z * Z * A
A: Pi * Z * Z * A
— Anonymous
QR codes are the opposite of Captchas. Unreadable to humans but easily interpreted by machines.
— Anonymous
A “Shower Thought” posted on Reddit by TheDragonsBlaze (21 Oct 2021).
Question: How many legs has a horse?
Answer: Twelve; two in front, two behind, two on each side, and one in each corner.
Answer: Twelve; two in front, two behind, two on each side, and one in each corner.
— Anonymous
Found as a space filler, Pi Mu Epsilon Journal (1949), 1, No. 1, 24.
Question: Why are Professors like the Mafia?
Answer: Because they usually only kill their own.
Answer: Because they usually only kill their own.
— Anonymous
As given in William Reville, 'The Science of Writing a Good Joke', The Irish Times (5 Jun 2000).
Radioactive cats have 14 half lives.
— Anonymous
Reason is the slow and tortuous method by which those who do not know the truth discover it.
— Anonymous
Webmaster presently believes this is an orphan quote, best attributed to Anonymous. It seem to be unsupported when attributed to Blaise Pascal, for example, as quoted, without citation, in Morris Kline, 'Ancients versus Moderns, A New Battle of the Books', The Mathematics Teacher (Oct 1958), 51, No. 6, 423. Also later published, without citation, in Morris Kline, Mathematical Thought From Ancient to Modern Times (1972), 296. Webmaster has not yet found a primary source for this as a quote by Pascal - not in English, not in French, and not in any earlier books. This is suspicious. (Can you help?) Furthermore, this sentence is also often seen in more recent books and online quotes pages as a first sentence, followed by a second sentence, “The heart has its reasons, which reason does not know.” The second sentence is a known Pascal quote verified in original French texts. However, Webmaster has not yet found, in any original French text, any instance of these two sentences together. Thus, putting them together more definitely appears to be a misquote. Can you help? [It is included on the Blaise Pascal page to link it with this cautionary note. —Webmaster]
Removing the teeth will cure something, including the foolish belief that removing the teeth will cure everything.
— Anonymous
Remsen never wore his hat inside the door for he had much the same respect for his laboratory that most of us have for a church.
— Anonymous
Quoting an unnamed former student of Remsen, speaking of his original laboratory at Johns Hopkins University in Dalton Hall on Little Ross Street, Baltimore, Maryland. In F.H. Getman The Life of Ira Remsen (1940), 68.
Research is the art of seeing what everyone else has seen, and doing what no-one else has done.
— Anonymous
In Barbara A. Nadel (ed.), Building Security (2004), 18.1. Compare quote by Albert Szent-Gyorgyi: “Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought.”
REST IN PEACE. THE MISTAKE SHALL NOT BE REPEATED.
— Anonymous
Inscription on the cenotaph at Hiroshima, Japan. Quoted in Alan L. Mackay, The Harvest of a Quiet Eye (1977. In Robert Andrews Famous Lines: a Columbia Dictionary of Familiar Quotations (1997), 340.
Rheumatic fever licks at the joints, but bites at the heart.
— Anonymous
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings. They did it by killing all those who opposed them.
— Anonymous
Rome wasn’t built in a day? I wasn’t in charge of that job.
— Anonymous
In 'Speeding up Calculations', Facts From Figures (1951), Chap. 6, 66.
Rules of Thumb
Thumb’s First Postulate: It is better to use a crude approximation and know the truth, plus or minus 10 percent, than demand an exact solution and know nothing at all.
Thumb’s Second Postulate: An easily understood, workable falsehood is more useful than a complex incomprehensible truth.
Thumb’s First Postulate: It is better to use a crude approximation and know the truth, plus or minus 10 percent, than demand an exact solution and know nothing at all.
Thumb’s Second Postulate: An easily understood, workable falsehood is more useful than a complex incomprehensible truth.
— Anonymous
In Arthur Bloch, The Complete Murphy's Law: A Definitive Collection (1991), 126.
Science can tell you how to clone a tyrannosaurus rex. Humanities can tell you why this might be a bad idea.
— Anonymous
On poster for humanities relevancy produced by the College of Humanities, University of Utah.
Science has increased our lifespan considerably. Now we can look forward to paying our taxes at least ten years longer.
— Anonymous
In E.C. McKenzie, 14,000 Quips and Quotes for Speakers, Writers, Editors, Preachers, and Teachers (1990), 496.
Science is a wonderful thing, but it has not yet succeeded in maximizing pleasure and minimizing pain, and that's all we asked of it.
— Anonymous
In Dr. N Sreedharan, Quotations of Wit and Wisdom (2007), 68.
Science is forever rewriting itself.
— Anonymous
In Leonard and Thelma Spinrad, Speaker's Lifetime Library (1979), 220.
Science is inseparably interwoven in all that gives power and dignity to a nation.
— Anonymous
Cited only as “said by one of the soundest writers upon the study of nature” in 'The Smithsonian Institution', Putnam's Monthly Magazine of American Literature, Science, and Art (Aug 1854), 4, No. 20, 131. Also seen cited as “it has been well observed,” in W.F. Ainsworth, (ed.),'North America', All Round the World: An Illustrated Record of Voyages, Travels, and Adventures in All Parts of the Globe (1866), Vol. 3, 50. Please contact Webmaster if you know the primary source.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it.
— Anonymous
This, and variations, appear in various places attributed (highly likely incorrectly) to Richard Feynman, but without any primary source citation. For example, see John Lloyd and John Mitchinson, If Ignorance Is Bliss, Why Aren't There More Happy People? : Smart Quotes for Dumb Times (2009), 274. It is also very suspicious that no example, readily found on the internet, is dated earlier than 2000, yet such a salacious remark surely would have seen the light of day long before that! Also seen worded beginning with: "Physics is….” If you know any instance of this quote published before 2000, please contact Webmaster.
Science is the ascertainment of facts and the refusal to regard facts as permanent.
— Anonymous
In Leonard and Thelma Spinrad, Speaker's Lifetime Library (1979), 220.
Science is wiser than religion: it never tries to do the humanly impossible, like making you love your neighbor like yourself.
— Anonymous
In Evan Esar, 20,000 Quips and Quotes, 704.
Science is wonderful: for years uranium cost only a few dollars a ton until scientists discovered you could kill people with it.
— Anonymous
In Evan Esar, 20,000 Quips and Quotes, 703.
Science quickens and cultivates directly the faculty of observation, which in very many persons lies almost dormant through life, the power of accurate and rapid generalizations, and the mental habit of method and arrangement; it accustoms young persons to trace the sequence of cause and effect; it familiarizes then with a kind of reasoning which interests them, and which they can promptly comprehend; and it is perhaps the best corrective for that indolence which is the vice of half-awakened minds, and which shrinks from any exertion that is not, like an effort of memory, merely mechanical.
— Anonymous
Report of the Royal Commission on Education (1861), Parliamentary Papers (1864), Vol 20, 32-33, as cited in Paul White, Thomas Huxley: Making the "Man of Science" (2003), 77, footnote. Also quoted in John Lubbock, The Pleasures of Life (1887, 2007), 63.
Science without conscience is the death of the soul.
— Anonymous
Scientific knowledge is the most reliable and useful knowledge that human beings possess.
— Anonymous
Scientists do the work of God, engineers do the work of man.
— Anonymous
In Lee Dye, 'On Science: Who Leads the Parade of Invention, Scientist or Engineer?', Los Angeles Times (3 Sep 1990) it is stated (without any quotation marks) that: A number of years ago, when Caltech planetary scientist Bruce Murray was the director of the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, he is said to have told his colleague, engineer John Casani, that scientists do the work of God; engineers do the work of man.
Scientists have come up with a fantastic invention for looking through solid walls. It’s called a window.
— Anonymous
Found feral on the web attributed (spuriously?) to Richard Feynmann, but Webmaster has not yet found a primary source for Feynmann saying or writing this.
Scientists should always state the opinions upon which their facts are based.
— Anonymous
…...
Search your parks in all your cities, you’ll find no statues of committees.
— Anonymous
…...
Sepsis is an insult to a surgeon.
— Anonymous
Sex appeal is a matter of chemistry, but you don't have to be a chemist to find the formula.
— Anonymous
In Evan Esar, 20,000 Quips and Quotes, 128.
Sex is the best form of fusion at room temperature.
— Anonymous
Saying.
Shouldn’t a combination lock be called a permutation lock?
— Anonymous
In Michael Stueben Twenty Years Before the Blackboard, (1998), 131.
Show me an archaeologist, and I'll show you a man who practices skull drugery.
— Anonymous
In Bob Phillips, Phillips' Book of Great Thoughts & Funny Sayings (1993), 24.
Show me an archaeologist, and I’ll show you a man who practices skull drudgery.
— Anonymous
In Bob Phillips, Phillips' Book of Great Thoughts and Funny Sayings (1993), 25
Since light travels faster than sound, isn’t that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
— Anonymous
Sir James Dewar
Is cleverer than you are.
None of you asses
Can condense gases.
Is cleverer than you are.
None of you asses
Can condense gases.
— Anonymous
In Abraham Pais, Inward Bound: Of Matter and Forces in the Physical World (1986), 137.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
— Anonymous
'Shoot Out in Marlboro Country', Mother Jones Magazine (Jan 1979), 36.
So-called “common sense” is definitely detrimental to an understanding of the quantum realm!
— Anonymous
As given in an epigraph, without citation, in David M. Harland (ed.), The Big Bang: A View from the 21st Century (2003), ix.
So, what’s the speed of dark?
— Anonymous
Some people get an education without going to college; the rest get it after they get out.
— Anonymous
Seen on the web, without citation, incorrectly attributed to Mark Twain. Webmaster has not yet found a book with this quotation, and greatly doubts that it is a Twain quote.
Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, “Wish you were here.”
— Anonymous
Somewhere between 1900 and 1912 in this country, according to one sober medical scientist [Henderson] a random patient, with a random disease, consulting a doctor chosen at random had, for the first time in the history of mankind, a better than fifty-fifty chance of profiting from the encounter.
— Anonymous
Quoted in New England Journal of Medicine (1964), 270, 449.
South Africa might be called the Daughter of Medicine. For was not the fight against scurvy the very reason for the establishment of the settlement at the Cape with its garden and hospital?
— Anonymous
In article 'The History of Medicine in South Africa', South African Medical Journal (14 Sep 1957), 31, No. 37, 938. The expression 'daughter of medicine' has been used before in various contexts.
Statistician: A man who believes figures don’t lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won’t stand up either.
— Anonymous
From Evan Esar, Esar’s Comic Dictionary (1943), as cited in Raymond Rowe and Joseph Chamberlain, A Spoonful of Sugar: 1,001 Quotations (2007), 56.
Statistician: One who knows which numbers to use in any eventuality.
— Anonymous
Statistics can be made to prove anything—even the truth.
— Anonymous
In Evan Esar, 20,000 Quips and Quotes (1995), 765.
Steel doesn't know how old it is.
— Anonymous
In Timothy Aeppel, 'Old machines show why Trump tax breaks may not spark new company spending' article on reuters.com (19 May 2017), quoting it as a favorite saying Dan Moore, CEO of the Dan T. Moore Co., explaining how to get value out of rebuilding and updating good used industrial machines.
Stress: When you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.
— Anonymous
Success is a journey, not a destination.
— Anonymous
Magazine of Michigan (1929), 10. Compare this quote with 'Education is a journey...')
Sure Prometheus discovered fire, but what has he done since?
— Anonymous
In A Dictionary of Scientific Quotations by Alan L. Mackay (1991).
Surgeon: A man who's always out for his cut.
— Anonymous
Teaching is not telling. If it were telling, we’d all be so smart we couldn't stand ourselves.
— Anonymous
Sometimes seen in recent publications attributed to Mark Twain, for example, in Thomas R. Rosebrough and Ralph G. Leverett Transformational Teaching in the Information Age (2011), 71. Also seen as “If teaching were just telling then we’d all be so smart we couldn’t stand up.” Webmaster has tried, but has not yet been able to find a primary source in Twain’s writings, and so believes “Anonymous” is the most likely source. Can you help?
Technology is the science of arranging life so that one need not experience it.
— Anonymous
…...
Tell a man that there are 300 billion stars in the universe, and he’ll believe you. Tell him that a bench has wet paint upon it and he’ll have to touch it to be sure.
— Anonymous
Occasionally seen attributed to Albert Einstein, but without citation, so it is most likely anonymous.
The advance of science has enabled man to communicate at twice the speed of sound while he still acts at half the speed of sense.
— Anonymous
In Evan Esar, 20,000 Quips & Quotes (1968, 1995), 159.
The American Businessman has a problem: if he comes up with something new, the Russians invent it six months later and the Japanese make it cheaper.
— Anonymous
In E.C. McKenzie, 14,000 Quips and Quotes for Speakers, Writers, Editors, Preachers, and Teachers (1990), 58.
The astronomers must be very clever to have found out the narnes of all the stars.
— Anonymous
In The Physics Teacher, October 1970.
The banker asks, 'how much?' The scientist asks, 'how come?'
— Anonymous
In Leonard and Thelma Spinrad, Speaker's Lifetime Library (1979), 220.
The best patient is a millionaire with a positive Wassermann [antibody test for syphilis]. In Carl Malmberg , 140 Million Patients (1947), 30. Medical proverb before the discovery of antibiotics.
— Anonymous
The best physicians are Dr. Diet, Dr. Quiet and Dr. Merryman.
— Anonymous
The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The second best time is now.
— Anonymous
The bitterness of poor quality remains long after the sweetness of meeting the schedule is forgotten.
— Anonymous
The brain is the most complicated kilo of matter in the universe.
— Anonymous
Perspectives (1966). In Memory (1999), 15.
The British Medical Association is a club of London physicians and surgeons who once a year visit and patronize their professional friends in the country.
— Anonymous
Medical Times and Gazette (18 Jan 1870), 37.
The California climate makes the sick well and the well sick, the old young and the young old.
— Anonymous
American saying
The cancer scare has increased the use of borrowed cigarettes.
— Anonymous
In E.C. McKenzie, 14,000 Quips and Quotes for Speakers, Writers, Editors, Preachers, and Teachers (1990), 85.
The central dogma, enunciated by Crick in 1958 and the keystone of molecular biology ever since, is likely to prove a considerable over-simplification. That is the heretical but inescapable conclusion stemming from experiments done in the past few months in two laboratories in the United States.
— Anonymous
'News and Views', Nature, 1970, 226, 1198.
The Chinese are responsible for some of the greatest inventions: paper, gunpowder, ice cream, etc. But out of all the tools they could’ve invented to eat rice with, two sticks won out.
— Anonymous
A “Shower Thought” posted on Reddit by baiqibeendeleted17 (sometime in Sep 2021).
The collective IQ of the group is the lowest IQ of any member of the group, divided by the numbers of members in the group.
— Anonymous
In Lily Splane, Quantum Consciousness (2004), 309
The comforting, if spurious, precision of laboratory results has the same appeal as the lifebelt to the weak swimmer.
— Anonymous
Lancet (1981) 1, 539-40 (1981)
The computer is a great invention. There are as many mistakes as ever, but now they're nobody's fault.
— Anonymous
In E.C. McKenzie, 14,000 Quips and Quotes for Speakers, Writers, Editors, Preachers, and Teachers (1990), 338.
The devouring tooth of time.
— Anonymous
Cliché more current in the nineteenth century than at present. In a list of clichés in The Philistine (Dec 1904), 20, No. 1, 27.
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
— Anonymous
In Lily Splane, Quantum Consciousness (2004), 310
The difference between science and Congress is that in science facts mean everything and the illusions mean nothing. And in politics, it’s just the opposite.
— Anonymous
Seen attributed on the NPR website to perhaps congressman Rush Holt (Verification pending). Also seen recalled by NPR’s Ira Flatow as: “I think it was Rush Holt who was quoted when he got into Congress, his saying, when I was a scientist, facts meant everything and illusions meant nothing. When I became a politician, illusions meant everything and facts meant nothing.” From program transcript for Science Friday (11 May 2012).
The difference between try and triumph is a little umph.
— Anonymous
…...
The doctrine of Darwinism had been tritely summed up in the saying, “from mud to monkey, from monkey up to man.”
— Anonymous
Quoted by J.J. Morse in a lecture at Cardiff, reported by A.J. Smith in 'Spiritualism in the Principality: Mr Morse at Cardiff', The Medium and Daybreak (17 May 1878), 307.
THE DYING AIRMAN
A handsome young airman lay dying,
As on the aerodrome he lay,
To the mechanics who round him came sighing,
These last words he did say.
“Take the cylinders out of my kidneys,
The connecting-rod out of my brain,
Take the cam-shaft from out of my backbone,
And assemble the engine again.”
A handsome young airman lay dying,
As on the aerodrome he lay,
To the mechanics who round him came sighing,
These last words he did say.
“Take the cylinders out of my kidneys,
The connecting-rod out of my brain,
Take the cam-shaft from out of my backbone,
And assemble the engine again.”
— Anonymous
From Edith L. Tiempo, Introduction to Poetry: Poetry Through Image and Statement (1993), 6.
The Eiffel Tower is the Empire State Building after taxes.
— Anonymous
The eminent scientist who once said we all behave like human beings obviously never drove a car.
— Anonymous
In E.C. McKenzie, 14,000 Quips and Quotes for Speakers, Writers, Editors, Preachers, and Teachers (1990), 350.
The equation eπi = -1 has been called the eutectic point of mathematics, for no matter how you boil down and explain this equation, which relates four of the most remarkable numbers of mathematics, it still has a certain mystery about it that cannot be explained away.
— Anonymous
The excitement that a gambler feels when making a bet is equal to the amount he might win times the probability of winning it.
— Anonymous
As quoted, without citation, in Nicholas J. Rose Mathematical Maxims and Minims (1988). Rose attributes the quote to Blaise Pascal, but Webmaster has, so far, found nothing like it by Pascal. Can you help? [Present opinion: This quote does not ring true for Pascal —Webmaster.]
The fact is that in creating towns, men create the materials for an immense hotbed of disease, and this effect can only be neutralised by extraordinary artificial precautions.
— Anonymous
The Times (8 Oct 1868)
The first law of Engineering Mathematics: All infinite series converge, and moreover converge to the first term.
— Anonymous
The first step in finding the solution to a problem often involves discovering a problem with the existing solution.
— Anonymous
The goal of science is to build better mousetraps. The goal of nature is to build better mice.
— Anonymous
In Gary William Flake, The Computational Beauty of Nature (2000), 339.
The inhabitants of Harley Street and Wimpole Street had so taken up with their private practices that they had neglected to add to knowledge. The pursuit of learning had been handicapped by the pursuit of gain.
— Anonymous
Royal Commission on University Education (1915). Quoted in Reginald Pound, Harley Street (1967), 186.
The land is the only living thing. Men are merely mortals.… The land is a mother that never dies.
— Anonymous
Maori Polynesian saying. As quoted in Jean Hobbs, Hawaii: A Pageant of the Soil (1935), ix.
The last person who left the lab will be the one held responsible for everything that goes wrong.
— Anonymous
Found in The NIH Catalyst (May-June 2003), 11, No. 3, 8, as part of list 'A Scientist’s Dozen,' cited as “culled and adapted…from a variety of sources” by Howard Young.
The man of perfect knowledge should not unsettle the foolish whose knowledge is imperfect.
— Anonymous
In Bhagavad-gîtâ, third discourse, v.29, translation by Annie Wood Besant (1904), 49.
The mark of a true doctor is usually illegible.
— Anonymous
In Eugene E. Brussell, Webster's New World Dictionary of Quotable Definitions (2006), 151
The military engineer had died and his close relative, the civil engineer, had taken his place.
— Anonymous
Reported as “one regimental commander declared…” and given as a narrative statement, not within quotation marks. The context is that by World War II, “engineer work in war … covered a far wider technical range than ever before in American military engineering experience,” with increasingly “complex and extensive” operations. In Beck, Bortz, Lynch, Mayo and Weld, 'Introduction' The Corps of Engineers: The War Against Germany (1988), 3. For more background on the change, a footnote cites William Barclay Parsons, The American Engineers in France (1920), 5-7.
The moment a bar of gold walked into a pub, the landlord shouted “A U, get out!”
— Anonymous
The Moon and the weather
May change together;
But change of the Moon
Does not change the weather.
If we’d no moon at all,
And that may seem strange,
We still should have weather
That’s subject to change.
May change together;
But change of the Moon
Does not change the weather.
If we’d no moon at all,
And that may seem strange,
We still should have weather
That’s subject to change.
— Anonymous
Cited as “heard many years ago” in Notes and Queries (23 Sep 1882), 246. Quoted in George Frederick Chambers, The Story of the Weather Simply Told for General Readers (1897), 197.
The more I see of men, the better I like my dog.
— Anonymous
Webmaster has seen this quote attributed, without citation, to Blaise Pascal, in Howard W. Eves, Return to Mathematical Circles, (1988). Also seen attributed to Frederick the Great (said to have greyhounds). Until Webmaster finds an authentic primary source to verify it, it probably is best regarded as Anonymou. Can you help?
The most difficult problem in mathematics is to make the date of a woman's birth agree with her present age.
— Anonymous
In Evan Esar, 20,000 Quips and Quotes, 22.
The most powerful antigen in human biology is a new idea.
— Anonymous
Saying.
The most remarkable thing was his [Clifford’s] great strength as compared with his weight, as shown in some exercises. At one time he could pull up on the bar with either hand, which is well known to be one of the greatest feats of strength. His nerve at dangerous heights was extraordinary. I am appalled now to think that he climbed up and sat on the cross bars of the weathercock on a church tower, and when by way of doing something worse I went up and hung by my toes to the bars he did the same.
— Anonymous
Quoted from a letter by one of Clifford’s friends to F. Pollock, in Clifford’s Lectures and Essays (1901), Vol. 1, Introduction, 8.
The National Health Service is rotting before our eyes, with a lack of political will to make the tough choices for a first-class service for an ever more demanding population.
— Anonymous
The Times (Jul 2000), Leader.
The new definition of psychiatry is the care of the id by the odd.
— Anonymous
The NeXT Computer: The hardware makes it a PC, the software makes it a workstation, the unit sales makes it a mainframe.
— Anonymous
…...
The only place where a dollar is still worth one hundred cents today is in the problems in an arithmetic book.
— Anonymous
In Evan Esar, 20,000 Quips and Quotes, 509.
The Patent Office is the mother-in-law of invention.
— Anonymous
In Evan Esar, 20,000 Quips and Quotes, 583.
The person most often late for a doctor's appointment is the doctor himself.
— Anonymous
In Bob Phillips, Phillips' Book of Great Thoughts and Funny Sayings (1993), 99
The principal objection to old age is that there is no future in it.
— Anonymous
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
— Anonymous
The psychiatrist is the obstetrician of the mind.
— Anonymous
The publication of a long list of authors’ names after the title is a little like having all a vessel’s ballast hanging from the masthead, as if to counterbalance the barnacles.
— Anonymous
New England Journal of Medicine (1964), 271, 1068.
The reason that academic disputes are so bitter is that the stakes are so small.
— Anonymous
The reason the cow jumped over the moon was because there was a short circuit in the milking machine.
— Anonymous
In E.C. McKenzie, 14,000 Quips and Quotes for Speakers, Writers, Editors, Preachers, and Teachers (1990), 24.
The rise of every man he loved to trace,
Up to the very pod O!
And, in baboons, our parent race
Was found by old Monboddo.
Their A, B, C, he made them speak.
And learn their qui, quæ, quod, O!
Till Hebrew, Latin, Welsh, and Greek
They knew as well’s Monboddo!
Up to the very pod O!
And, in baboons, our parent race
Was found by old Monboddo.
Their A, B, C, he made them speak.
And learn their qui, quæ, quod, O!
Till Hebrew, Latin, Welsh, and Greek
They knew as well’s Monboddo!
— Anonymous
From Ballad, 'The Memory of Monboddo', in Blackwood’s Magazine (Sep 1861), 90, No. 551, 363, Verse 2 (of 6). Written to the Air, The Looking Glass. It is footnoted to explain that Lord (James Burnett) Monboddo “has written a book about the origin of language, in which he traces monkeys up to men.” The note is quoted and cited from Boswell’s Life of Johnson, Vol. 4, 73.
The road to success is always under construction.
— Anonymous
Widely quoted, with various attributions, but original author probably unknown. Seen at least as early as 1963 as, in an epigraph, The Office Economist (1963), 45, No. 3, 171.
The saddest moment in a person’s life comes but once.
— Anonymous
The science of today is the technology of tomorrow.
— Anonymous
Widely seen quoted and attributed to Teller, but it seems to always be without citation. Webmaster has searched, but has so far has not found a primary source or context establishing Teller initiated or popularised the aphorism. Found in general narrative use as early as 1951, not as a quote attributed to Teller, for example, “It is now a commonplace that the science of today is the technology of tomorrow and no one knowledgeable in technology doubts that…”, in the text of an article in Pulp & Paper Magazine of Canada (1951), 52, 86. Therefore, Webmaster places under Anonymous until a primary source is found. Can you help?
The sick are still in General Mixed Workhouses—the maternity cases, the cancerous, the venereal, the chronically infirm, and even the infectious, all together in one building, often in the same ward where they cannot be treated.
— Anonymous
UK National Committee to Promote the Break-up of the Poor Laws, The Failure of the Poor Law (1909). Quoted in Bulletin of the History of Medicine (1961), 35, 110.
The solution is dilution.
— Anonymous
Aphorism, seen for example, in Frank R. Spellman and Nancy E. Whiting, Environmental Engineer’s Mathematics Handbook (2004), 291.
The space scientist is a most remarkable man: he has his feet on the ground and his head in the clouds.
— Anonymous
In Evan Esar, 20,000 Quips and Quotes, 703.
The spine is a series of bones running down your back. You sit on one end of it and your head sits on the other.
— Anonymous
The study of the mathematics is like climbing up a steep and craggy mountain; when once you reach the top, it fully recompenses your trouble, by opening a fine, clear, and extensive prospect.
— Anonymous
In Tryon Edwards (ed.), A Dictionary of Thoughts (1908), 337.
The subject, cosmic physics, of her inaugural lecture was reported as 'cosmetic physics' in the press (more plausible with a female Dozent!).
— Anonymous
Biographical Memoirs of Fellows of the Royal Society (1970), 16, 408.
The success of any operation is as much dependent on execution as it is on planning and concept.
— Anonymous
The United States would be better off if we had less conversation and more conservation.
— Anonymous
In E.C. McKenzie, 14,000 Quips and Quotes for Speakers, Writers, Editors, Preachers, and Teachers (1990), 21.
The universe is simple; it’s the explanation that’s complex.
— Anonymous
The ways of science are unpredicatable: it can get men up to the moon, but it cannot get pigeons down from public buildings.
— Anonymous
In Evan Esar, 20,000 Quips and Quotes, 703.
The word “comet” has been derived by some from the Latin coma, a tail; but the better derivation is comma, because it never can come to a full stop.
— Anonymous
In Gilbert Abbott À Beckett et al., The Comic Almanack: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities: 2nd Series, 1844-1853 (1892), Vol. 2.
The wound is granulating well, the matter formed is diminishing in quantity and is laudable. But the wound is still deep and must be dressed from the bottom to ensure sound healing. … In view of the fact that sinister stories continue to be manufactured and to be printed, it may again be stated, as emphatically as possible, that during the operation no trace of malignant disease was observed, … His Majesty will leave Buckingham Palace for change of air shortly, and the date of the Coronation will be announced almost immediately.
— Anonymous
In 'The King’s Progress Towards Recovery', British Medical Journal (1902), 144. The appendectomy caused the coronation of King Edward VII to be postponed.
Theories should not be used to select observations; on the contrary, it is observations which should be used to select the theories.
— Anonymous
From webpage 'The Selection Effect' on laserstars.org website. The article does not specify an author, but the homepage attributes the site to Y.P. Varshni and J. Talbot.
There are no shade trees on the road to success.
— Anonymous
In E.C. McKenzie, 14,000 Quips and Quotes for Speakers, Writers, Editors, Preachers, and Teachers (1990), 482.
There are two kinds of sleep. The sleep of the just and the sleep of the just after.
— Anonymous
There are two kinds of statistics, the kind you look up and the kind you make up.
— Anonymous
Death of a Doxy (1966, 2010), 82.
There is a story that once, not long after he came to Berlin, Planck forgot which room had been assigned to him for a lecture and stopped at the entrance office of the university to find out. Please tell me, he asked the elderly man in charge, “In which room does Professor Planck lecture today?” The old man patted him on the shoulder “Don't go there, young fellow,” he said “You are much too young to understand the lectures of our learned Professor Planck.”
— Anonymous
In Barbara Lovett Cline, Men Who Made a New Physics: Physicists and the Quantum Theory (1987), 46.
There is no bed shortage—most people have their own.
— Anonymous
Capital Doctor (Dec 2000), No. 5.)
There is no gravity. The earth sucks.
— Anonymous
…...
There is no short cut from chemical laboratory to clinic, except one that passes too close to the morgue.
— Anonymous
American Medical Association (1929) as quoted in Arabella Melville and Colin Johnson , Cured to Death: The Effects of Prescription Drugs (1982).
There is nothing more uncommon than common sense.
— Anonymous
In Thomas Chalmers, 'On the Strength of the Evidences for a God in the Phenomena of Visible and External Nature', Natural Theology (1836, 1850), Vol. 1, Bk. II, Ch. III, Sect. 15, 276. With the introductory clause, “It has been said that…”, Chalmers made clear that he did not originate this saying himself. So attribution of this quote as originated by Thomas Chalmers is incorrect, as are various attributions to other people after 1836. There are also earlier instances of similar quotes, for example in 1748, when Lord Chesterfield wrote, “Common sense, (which, in truth, is very uncommon)…”. See the Lord Chester field Quotes page on this website.
There is nothing so mysterious as a fact clearly described.
— Anonymous
There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world; and that is an idea whose time has come.
— Anonymous
The Nation, 15 April 1943.
There may be more than one way to skin a cat, but you just get one chance per cat.
— Anonymous
…...
There once was a guy named Pruitt / Who said to the climate “Oh, screw it.” / The people said NO! / We will not give up SNOW. / The science is real and you knew it.
— Anonymous
Sign carried by a protester during the People’s Climate March, Washington, D.C. (29 Apr 2017). Pictured on Twitter @123catherinep. Note: Scott Pruitt was the (very short term) then head of the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA).
There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people know this.
— Anonymous
These days at ten o’clock at night a most alarming wonder has manifested itself in the skies. The firmament was rent asunder and through this gap one could distinguish chariots and armies, riders with yellow, white, red and black standards, though to do battle against each other. This awesome and unusual vision continued from ten at night till about two of the morning, and was witnessed with alarm and dismay by many honest and trustworthy people. The significance thereof is known but to God Almighty, Who may graciously prevent the shedding of innocent blood.
— Anonymous
'Frightful Apparition in the Sky at Vienna. From Vienna, the 11th day of August 1590'. As quoted in George Tennyson Matthews (ed.) News and Rumor in Renaissance Europe: The Fugger Newsletters (1959), 188. A handwritten collection of news reports (1568-1604) by the powerful banking and merchant house of Fugger in Ausburg.
They shall lay their hands on the sick, and they shall recover.
Recited by attending priest or bishop during ceremony for healing by Queen Anne's royal touch.
Recited by attending priest or bishop during ceremony for healing by Queen Anne's royal touch.
— Anonymous
Book of Common prayer (1708).
This guy's not an ordinary, garden-variety drunk. Far from it. Last year he donated his body to science, and he's preserving it in alcohol until they can use it.
— Anonymous
In Ashton Applewhite, William R. Evans and Andrew Frothingham, And I Quote (2003), 182.
This paper contains much that is new and much that is true. Unfortunately, that which is true is not new and that which is new is not true.
— Anonymous
Attribued as a referee’s report in H. Eves, Return to Mathematical Circles (1988). Also attributed to a 19th century scientist commenting on one of his competitor’s papers, cited in I. M. Klotz, 'How to become famous by being wrong in science', International Journal of Quantitative Chemistry, 24, 881-890, which is quoted in Frederick Grinnell, Everyday Practice of Science (2008), 86.
Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
— Anonymous
Sometimes seen on the web attributed to Isaac Asimov, but without citation. Webmaster has not yet found a reliable source. Meanwhile, consider it uncertain. Please contact Webmaster if you know a primary print source.
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.
— Anonymous
…...
Thou to whom the sick and dying
Ever came, nor came in vain,
With thy healing hands replying
To their wearied cry of pain.
Ever came, nor came in vain,
With thy healing hands replying
To their wearied cry of pain.
— Anonymous
The New English Hymnal (1986), 331.
Though Darwin may proclaim the law,
And spread it far abroad, O!
The man that first the secret saw,
Was honest old Monboddo.
The Architect precedence takes
Of him that bears the hod, 0!
So up and at them, Land of Cakes!
We’ll vindicate Monboddo.
And spread it far abroad, O!
The man that first the secret saw,
Was honest old Monboddo.
The Architect precedence takes
Of him that bears the hod, 0!
So up and at them, Land of Cakes!
We’ll vindicate Monboddo.
— Anonymous
From Ballad, 'The Memory of Monboddo', in Blackwood’s Magazine (Sep 1861), 90, No. 551, 364, Verse 5 (of 6). Written to the Air, The Looking Glass. It is footnoted to explain that Lord (James Burnett) Monboddo “has written a book about the origin of language, in which he traces monkeys up to men.” The note is quoted and cited from Boswell’s Life of Johnson, Vol. 4, 73.
Three apples changed the world, Adam's apple, Newton's apple, and Steve's apple.
[Tweeted tribute for Steve Jobs, co-founder the Apple computer company.]
[Tweeted tribute for Steve Jobs, co-founder the Apple computer company.]
— Anonymous
In Fouad Ajami, 'The Arab World's Unknown Son', Wall Street Journal (12 Oct 2011).
Three engineering students were discussing who designed the human body. One said, “It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints and levers.” The second said, “No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has thousands of electrical connections.” The last said, “Obviously, it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a major recreation area?”
— Anonymous
Three train travelers, passing through Scottish countryside, saw a black sheep through the window.
Engineer: Aha! I see that Scottish sheep are black.
Physician: Hmm. You mean that some Scottish sheep are black.
Mathematician: No, all we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black.
Engineer: Aha! I see that Scottish sheep are black.
Physician: Hmm. You mean that some Scottish sheep are black.
Mathematician: No, all we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black.
— Anonymous
Time is Nature’s way of keeping everything from happening at once.
— Anonymous
attributed to Onsager
Tis better than riches
To scratch when it itches
To scratch when it itches
— Anonymous
To err is human; to try to prevent recurrence of error is science.
— Anonymous
Saying. In Ashton Applewhite, William R. Evans and Andrew Frothingham, And I Quote (2003), 32.
To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.
— Anonymous
Often seen on the web and in publications attributed to Thomas Edison, but without any citation. So, Webmaster is doubtful, having not yet been able to find a primary print source—especially doubtful because such an appealing quote would be expected to be well documented. If you know one, please contact Webmaster. Meanwhile, Anonymous seems more appropriate. For an undocumented example of the quote, see Alex Barnett, The Quotable American (2002), 145.
To the days of the aged it addeth length;
To the might of the strong it addeth strength;
It freshens the heart, It brightens the sight;
’Tis like quaffing a goblet of morning light.
So, water, I will drink nothing but thee,
Thou parent of health and energy!
To the might of the strong it addeth strength;
It freshens the heart, It brightens the sight;
’Tis like quaffing a goblet of morning light.
So, water, I will drink nothing but thee,
Thou parent of health and energy!
— Anonymous
From 'Song of the Water Drinker', The Metropolitan Magazine (1835), 15, 283. Attributed to E. Johnson, but without a full name with which to find more biographical information, Webmaster is putting these lines under Anonymous.
To the electron—may it never be of any use to anyone.
[Favorite toast of hard-headed Cavendish scientists in the early 1900s.]
[Favorite toast of hard-headed Cavendish scientists in the early 1900s.]
— Anonymous
In Michael Riordan and Lillian Hoddeson, Crystal Fire. In Marc J. Madou, Fundamentals of Microfabrication: the Science of Miniaturization (2nd ed., 2002), 615.
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
— Anonymous
To try to make a model of an atom by studying its spectrum is like trying to make a model of a grand piano by listening to the noise it makes when thrown downstairs.
— Anonymous
In Oliver Lodge in Atoms and Rays (1924), 74.
To understand hydrogen is to understand all of physics.
— Anonymous
This quote has been (apparently incorrectly) attributed to Victor Weisskopf, for example in Oxford Dictionary of Science Quotations citing John S. Rigden, The Essential Element (2002), 253. However, Daniel Kleppner in 'The Ying and Yang of Hydrogen', Physics Today (Apr 1999), 11 states he had asked Weisskopf, “but he denied having coined it. Then after a pause, he added, ‘But I wish I had.’” As given; also online. If you know the authentic source of this quote, please contact Webmaster.
To use: Apply shampoo to wet hair. Massage to lather, then rinse. Repeat.
A typical hair-washing algorithm that fails to halt—in the way that computer programmers must avoid an infinite loop.
A typical hair-washing algorithm that fails to halt—in the way that computer programmers must avoid an infinite loop.
— Anonymous
In Gary William Flake, The Computational Beauty of Nature: Computer Explorations of Fractals, Chaos, Complex Systems, and Adaptation (2000), 23.
To-day, science has withdrawn into realms that are hardly understanded of the people. Biology means very largely histology, the study of the cell by difficult and elaborate microscopical processes. Chemistry has passed from the mixing of simple substances with ascertained reactions, to an experimentation of these processes under varying conditions of temperature, pressure, and electrification—all requiring complicated apparatus and the most delicate measurement and manipulation. Similarly, physics has outgrown the old formulas of gravity, magnetism, and pressure; has discarded the molecule and atom for the ion, and may in its recent generalizations be followed only by an expert in the higher, not to say the transcendental mathematics.
— Anonymous
‘Exit the Amateur Scientist.’ Editorial, The Nation, 23 August 1906, 83, 160.
Today's facts are tomorrow's fallacies.
— Anonymous
Two managers decided they would go moose hunting. They shot a moose, and as they were about to drag the animal by the hind legs, a biologist and an engineer came along.
The Biologist said, “You know, the hair follicles on a moose have a grain to them that causes the hair to lie toward the back.”
The Engineer said, “So dragging the moose that way increases your coefficient of friction by a tremendous amount. Pull from the other end, and you will find the work required to be quite minimal.”
The managers thanked the two and started dragging the moose by the antlers.
After about an hour, one manager said, “I can’t believe how easy it is to move this moose this way. I sure am glad we ran across those two.”
“Yeah,” said the other.“But we’re getting further and further away from our truck.”
The Biologist said, “You know, the hair follicles on a moose have a grain to them that causes the hair to lie toward the back.”
The Engineer said, “So dragging the moose that way increases your coefficient of friction by a tremendous amount. Pull from the other end, and you will find the work required to be quite minimal.”
The managers thanked the two and started dragging the moose by the antlers.
After about an hour, one manager said, “I can’t believe how easy it is to move this moose this way. I sure am glad we ran across those two.”
“Yeah,” said the other.“But we’re getting further and further away from our truck.”
— Anonymous
In Jon Fripp, Michael Fripp and Deborah Fripp, Speaking of Science (2000), 193.
Two men stood looking through the bars,
One saw the mud, the other saw the stars.
One saw the mud, the other saw the stars.
— Anonymous
As given in Richard A. Gregory, Discovery: Or, The Spirit and Service of Science (1916), 20.
Verily God is an odd number and loves the odd numbers.
— Anonymous
Islamic saying, as quoted in Clifford A. Pickover, The Loom of God: Tapestries of Mathematics and Mysticism (1997, 2009), 42.
Very different would be the position of the profession toward homeopathy if it had aimed, like other doctrines advanced by physicians, to gain a foothold among medical men alone or chiefly, instead of making its appeal to the popular favour and against the profession. … And as its adherents do not aim simply at the establishment of a system of doctrines, but wage a war of radicalism against the profession, and seek to throw down the barricades and guard it from the intrusion of ignorance and quackery … our duty is to expel them.
— Anonymous
Proceedings of the Connecticut Medical Society (1847), 24. Quoted by Harris L. Coulter in Divided Legacy: the Conflict Between Homeopathy and the American Medical Association (1982), 204.
Visitor’s footfalls are like medicine; they heal the sick.
— Anonymous
African proverb, Bantu
Want to make your computer go really fast? Throw it out a window.
— Anonymous
In L. R. Parenti, Durata Del Dramma: Life Of Drama (2005), 32.
We are all tourists in space and time.
— Anonymous
We are all travelers who are journeying … not knowing where the next day of our life is going to take us. We have no understanding of the surprises that are in store for us. Steadily we will know, understand and decipher and then it will all start to make sense. Until then keep travelling.
— Anonymous
We do not inherit the Earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children.
— Anonymous
Widely seen quoted in various sources, attributed to various origins (Native Indian proverb, or Amish, or Kenyan, etc.). For example, in the Canadian House of Commons Debates, Official Report (1987), Vol. 5, 6088, it is given a “The Haidas said…” Webmaster has so far found no earlier example. This suggests its origin is relatively recent, and not an ancient proverb. If you know of an earlier source, please contact Webmaster.
We forever have to walk the tightrope between what is seen to be the need and what is thought to be the demand … that’s all part of setting priorities and having a rational debate.
— Anonymous
National Health Service Chief Executive Officer quoted in Timothy Milewa and Michael Calnan, 'Primary Care and Public Involvement, Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine (2000), 93, 3-5.
We may conclude that from what science teaches us, there is in nature an order independent of man's existence, a meaningful order to which nature and man are subordinate.
— Anonymous
Sometimes seen attributed (doubtfully?) to Max Planck. Widely seen on the web, but always without citation. Webmaster has not yet found any evidence in print that this is a valid Planck quote, and must be skeptical that it is. Contact Webmaster if you know a primary source.
What does a fish know about the water in which it swims all its life?
— Anonymous
Webmaster has not yet been able to find a primary source. Seen with Einstein’s name, but Webmaster suspects that is misattributed.
What is bringing home tropical and tender plants for hot-houses, but crowding hospitals with sickly strangers?
— Anonymous
Correspondent “T.H.W.”, 'Botanical History of the Yew Tree', The Gentleman’s Magazine (Nov 1786), 60, Pt. 2, 941.
What is research, but a blind date with knowledge.
— Anonymous
Quoted in Robert S. Ely, Creating the Creative (2006), 60, attributed to William Henry, but without citation. It is seen in different sources variously attributed to William Henry, William J. Henry, Will Henry or Will Harvey. Webmaster has not found a primary print source documenting its authenticity. If you can supply one, please contact the webmaster. Meanwhile, it is listed here as anonymous.
What is the universe but the question, what is the universe?
— Anonymous
Astronomia, an exhibit at the Hayden Planetarium, New York City, December 1987.
When all else fails as a cure for smoking cigarettes, try carrying wet matches.
— Anonymous
In E.C. McKenzie, 14,000 Quips and Quotes for Speakers, Writers, Editors, Preachers, and Teachers (1990), 84.
When angry, take a lesson from modern science:
Always count down before blasting off.
Always count down before blasting off.
— Anonymous
In Bob Phillips, Phillips' Treasury of Humorous Quotations (2004), 13.
When fate arrives the physician becomes a fool.
— Anonymous
Arabic Proverb. In James Long, Eastern Proverbs and Emblems (2001), 84.
When Oxygen and Potassium went on a date, it went OK.
— Anonymous
Joke found on the Web
When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they're not it.
— Anonymous
Source uncertain. Often identified as Anonymous. Sometimes attributed to Bernard Bailey, for example, in a chapter heading quote (without citation) in juvenile fiction by P.G. Kain, The Social Experiments of Dorie Dilts: Dumped by Popular Demand (2007), 126. Sometimes found on the web attributed to Bernard Bailey, but just as often it is Anonymous. If you can identify Bernard Bailey or know an original print source, please contact Webmaster.
When you row another person across the river, you get there yourself.
— Anonymous
…...
Wherever the steam mill resounds with the hum of Industry, whether grinding flour on … the Schuylkill, or cutting logs in Oregon, there you find a monument to the memory of Oliver Evans.
— Anonymous
As quoted by Coleman Sellers, Jr., in his Lecture (20 Nov 1885) delivered at the Franklin Institute. Printed in Coleman Sellers, Jr., 'Oliver Evans and his Inventions', Journal of the Franklin Institute (Jul 1886), 122, No. 1, 16.
Which is an astronaut’s favorite key on a computer keyboard?
The space bar.
The space bar.
— Anonymous
Origin uncertain, but in circulation at least as early as by Chris Salemka, in 'Think & Grin', Boy’s Life (Mar 1995), 61.
Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
— Anonymous
Why is the world five—or ten or twenty—billion years old?
Because it took that long to find that out.
Because it took that long to find that out.
— Anonymous
Reflecting on the time before the man existed, and have consciousness of the the world to answer the question. Unattributed joke given by George Wald in lecture, 'Life and Mind in the Universe', versions of which he delivered throughout the 1980s. On the website of his son, Elijah Wald, who states it was the last of his father's major lectures.
Why speculate when you can calculate?
— Anonymous
Aphorism mentioned in Australian Federal Court, 1991 Federal Court Reports (1992), Vol. 31, 378.
Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.
— Anonymous
Widely seen, attributed to Terry Pratchett, but always without citation. This seems dubious to Webmaster, who has, so far, found no primary source to verify this quote—not found for Pratchett, nor for anyone else. (Can you help?)
Wisdom is a river that runs deep and slow. Inspiration and intuition are
lightning flashes reflected on its surface.
— Anonymous
In Barbara A. Robinson, Mind Bungee Jumping: Words of Life, Love, Inspiration, Encouragement and Motivation (2008), 287.
by - Poetry - 2008
Wise men know when to speak his mind and when to mind his speech.
— Anonymous
As stated in Ebrahim Kazim, Scientific Commentary of Suratul Faateḥah (2010).
Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
— Anonymous
Often seen attributed to Plato. Please contact Webmaster, who has so far found none, if you know a primary source from Plato's writing. Seen without citation in Tryon Edwards (ed.), A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations (1891), 560.
Worry is interest paid on trouble before it falls due.
— Anonymous
Saying. Seen, for example, in advertisement, 'Be As You Would Seem To Be: Who Is Powers?', The Grape Belt (2 Oct 1906).
Yesterday's dreams are today's science
— Anonymous
In Leonard and Thelma Spinrad, Speaker's Lifetime Library (1979), 220.
You are still sending to the apothecaries and still crying out to fetch Master Doctor to me; but our apothecary’s shop is our garden and our doctor a good clove of garlic.
— Anonymous
In The Great Frost of January 1608, originally published in the English Garner (1877-1890). Collected in Edward arber and Thomas Seccombe (eds.), Social England Illustrated: A Collection of XVIIth Century Abstracts (1903), 167.
You can always tell the pioneers because they are face down in the mud with arrows in their backs.
— Anonymous
Seen in various paraphrases, such as $ldquo;in the dirt”.
You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time.
— Anonymous
No evidence exists that this quote originated with Abraham Lincoln. A closely matching quote appears in French by Jacques Abbadie in 1684. See details at http://quoteinvestigator.com.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a rack of microfuge tubes.
— Anonymous
Found in The NIH Catalyst (May-June 2003), 11, No. 3, 8, as part of list 'A Scientist’s Dozen,' cited as “culled and adapted…from a variety of sources” by Howard Young.
You can’t plough a field by turning it over in your mind.
— Anonymous
You can't go by mathematics: the dollar you borrow is never as big as the dollar you pay back.
— Anonymous
In Evan Esar, 20,000 Quips and Quotes, 240.
You don’t know who he was? Half the particles in the universe obey him!
[Reply by a physics professor when a student asked who Bose was.]
[Reply by a physics professor when a student asked who Bose was.]
— Anonymous
Quoted in 'Original Vision, Forgotten Hero', The Calcutta Telegraph (3 Jan 2012)
You shall not eat or drink in the company of other people but with lepers alone, and you shall know that when you shall have died you will not be buried in the church.
— Anonymous
Advice to lepers in the Middle Ages in Treves. Quoted in O. Schell, Zur Geschichte des Aussatzes am Niederrhein, Ardir für Geschichte der Medezin (1910), 3, 335-46.
You Surgeons of London, who puzzle your Pates,
To ride in your Coaches, and purchase Estates,
Give over, for Shame, for your Pride has a Fall,
And ye Doctress of Epsom has outdone you all.
Dame Nature has given her a doctor's degree,
She gets all the patients and pockets the fee;
So if you don't instantly prove it a cheat,
She'll loll in a chariot whilst you walk the street.
Cautioning doctors about the quack bone-setter, Mrs. Mapp (d. 22 Dec 1737), who practiced in Epsom town once a week, arriving in a coach-and-four.
To ride in your Coaches, and purchase Estates,
Give over, for Shame, for your Pride has a Fall,
And ye Doctress of Epsom has outdone you all.
Dame Nature has given her a doctor's degree,
She gets all the patients and pockets the fee;
So if you don't instantly prove it a cheat,
She'll loll in a chariot whilst you walk the street.
Cautioning doctors about the quack bone-setter, Mrs. Mapp (d. 22 Dec 1737), who practiced in Epsom town once a week, arriving in a coach-and-four.
— Anonymous
Verses from a song in a comedy at the Lincoln's Inn Fields Theatre, called The Husband's Relief, or The Female Bone-setter and the Worm-doctor. In Robert Chambers, The Book of Days (1832), 729.
You'll be thought cool
If you call it the joule.
But there'll be a howl
If you call it the jowl.
If you call it the joule.
But there'll be a howl
If you call it the jowl.
— Anonymous
Supplied to Oxford Dictionary of Quotations by W. H. Brock.
Your Grace will no doubt have learnt from the weekly reports of one Marco Antonio Bragadini, called Mamugnano. … He is reported to be able to turn base metal into gold… . He literally throws gold about in shovelfuls. This is his recipe: he takes ten ounces of quicksilver, puts it into the fire, and mixes it with a drop of liquid, which he carries in an ampulla. Thus it promptly turns into good gold. He has no other wish but to be of good use to his country, the Republic. The day before yesterday he presented to the Secret Council of Ten two ampullas with this liquid, which have been tested in his absence. The first test was found to be successful and it is said to have resulted in six million ducats. I doubt not but that this will appear mighty strange to your Grace.
— Anonymous
'The Famous Alchemist Bragadini. From Vienna on the 1st day of November 1589'. As quoted in George Tennyson Matthews (ed.) News and Rumor in Renaissance Europe: The Fugger Newsletters (1959), 173. A handwritten collection of news reports (1568-1604) by the powerful banking and merchant house of Fugger in Ausburg.
Your true inventor has a yen to invent, just as a painter or musician is impelled to create something in his art. I began wanting to invent when I was in short pants. At the age of eight—and that was forty years ago—I invented a rock-thrower. Later I found that the Romans had done a much better job some two thousand years before me.
— Anonymous
Attributed to an unnamed “holder of many patents,” as quoted by Stacy V. Jones, in You Ought to Patent That (1962), 21.
Zenophobia: the irrational fear of converging sequences.
Pun on the name of the Greek philosopher, Zeno, famous for his challenging paradoxes concerning converging sequences.
Pun on the name of the Greek philosopher, Zeno, famous for his challenging paradoxes concerning converging sequences.
— Anonymous
In Wieslaw Krawcewicz, Bindhyachal Rai, Calculus with Maple Labs (2003), 407.
Quotes by others about Anonymous (2)
When science, art, literature, and philosophy are simply the manifestation of personality, they are on a level where glorious and dazzling achievements are possible, which can make a man’s name live for thousands of years. But above this level, far above, separated by an abyss, is the level where the highest things are achieved. These things are essentially anonymous.
In Simone Weil and Siân Miles (ed.), 'Human Personality', Simone Weil: An Anthology (2000), 55.
Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous.
Years after his death, this has been misattributed to Albert Einstein. Webmaster has found no primary source that he ever said or wrote these words. In a web article 'Chance, Coincidence, Miracles, Pseudonyms, and God', Quote Investigator lists a number of precursor variants as sayings dating back to 1777.
See also:
- Anonymous - context of quote “A Paper Cut… A Tree's Last Revenge” - Medium image (500 x 350 px)
- Anonymous - context of quote “A Paper Cut… A Tree's Last Revenge” - Large image (800 x 600 px)
- Anonymous - context of quote “A Paper Cut… A Tree's Last Laugh” - Medium image (500 x 350 px)
- Anonymous - context of quote “A Paper Cut… A Tree's Last Laugh” - Large image (800 x 600 px)
In science it often happens that scientists say, 'You know that's a really good argument; my position is mistaken,' and then they would actually change their minds and you never hear that old view from them again. They really do it. It doesn't happen as often as it should, because scientists are human and change is sometimes painful. But it happens every day. I cannot recall the last time something like that happened in politics or religion.
(1987) -- 
